Life With Jazzy

A Puppy.....

2010-12-19T07:11:00.001-06:00

We are getting ready to help transport 12 boxer puppies for MNBR today!! And we decided that we are going to foster one of them too!!! Eli is over the moon about bringing a puppy home!! I hope we don't flunk this foster.......

Bake-a-thon

2010-12-06T17:24:00.002-06:00

So this is how I spent my Sunday. A huge bake-a-thon! With my girl Sara. Lots of flour, pb, and chocolate. Oh and a bottle of wine of course!!

Go check out Sara's blog, she did a fantastic job of describing our day!!

Hello?

2010-10-18T11:05:00.003-05:00

I hope you are still there. It has been a while. I know. Life gets......busy sometimes. And crazy. But it is good. It has been good. Lots of fun, new, changing things have happened over the summer. Some very easy, some not so easy, but changes are always an adventure.

I miss writing out my thoughts, feelings, and pondering's. I think I need to try again.

So as fall is upon us, so is more change. I love the seasons. They remind me of all the many seasons we go through in life. All the changing and molding that we do as people and families.

One of the changes that our family recently went through was the addition of a pup. A handsome Boxer boy named Kane. He is precious and adored by every person in our home:) We couldn't be more happy with our decision to adopt him!

So for some eye candy.......here he is!!!

Bittersweet

2010-05-19T12:40:00.002-05:00

Seven years ago today.....I became a Mommy!! I have forever been changed because of a little 9lb baby boy that came into this world at 5:12 pm on Monday May 19, 2003. And as happy as I am that he is a fine young man, I am equally sad that my little baby boy isn't a baby anymore.

Jaden Paul, I love you more than words could say!! I love your laugh, your sense of humor, your adorable smile, your shaggy hair, your wanting to ALWAYS be right, your negotiating skills, the way you snuggle, the way you hug, how you talk about fishing ALL the time, your big brown eyes, your freckles on your nose, I just love EVERYTHING about you bud!!

And I especially LOVE being your Mommy!!

Planning

2010-04-26T14:08:00.003-05:00

I am in the starting phase of planning.....
planning what? you say
Well, a few things really.....
like....a trip to D.C. in October to visit my besty...and...
Jaden starting a new school in AUGUST...and....
maybe school again for me this summer....and....
a few blog posts about some things I have been pondering about marriage and forgiveness...and...
oh yeah, a VOW RENEWAL CEREMONY!!!!

It will be our 5 year wedding anniversary in August, and we will be celebrating with a very small and intimate vow renewal ceremony with our closest friends and family:)

The last year has been crazy and hard at times....but we are BOTH super excited to renew our vows to each other and God:)

Now....off I go....to start making some invitations!!!

Can you say, black, lime green, and fuchsia.......LOVE IT!!!!

A Selfish Rant....

2010-03-11T15:03:00.006-06:00

Sometimes I just want to scream at how selfish I am!! I just want so bad to be selfish at times and not selfless. It is such an internal struggle. One that I have dealt with for a very long time, but only recently realized how long it really has been.

It is a painful process; learning how to be selfless. One that involves faith, Gods grace and mercy, and a ton of forgiveness. Forgiveness from God, from my husband, and from myself. It is hard to give up our lives and take up the cross. It is painful to die to ones self. At times I find myself stricken with grief as I struggle through this journey and change of selfish to selfless. I have my two sides battling for this territory in my mind and my heart. My selfish(fleshly) side battling for obvious reasons. My selfless(spiritual) side battling for my essential freedom in Christ. I just want to scream!

Why is it so hard some days? I just want to be more like Jesus. More of Him and less of me. But these days that I struggle so badly with my fleshly desires, I realize how far away from Him I can be.

My Journey With The Great Companion

2010-03-03T09:16:00.004-06:00

Where to begin. Perhaps I shall start with a brief summary of how I came to know Christ. Since I feel like my life truly began once I had Him in it.

I was 20 years old. Single. Just had a baby boy who I named Jaden. In Hebrew it means "God has heard", I didn't know this at the time. Anyways. There I was. In pain. A lot of pain. Alone. Responsible for another human life. Young. Hurting. Frustrated. Full of wounds that I didn't even know existed yet. Full of love for this child I had. But also full of hate towards this life of mine and many people in it. Full of regret and full of fear. And did I say alone? Alone! Just me and my baby.

During this time God was seeking me. I believe He was seeking me all along, but I was NOT seeking Him. I had this amazing girl friend who I had met at my previous work place- A TOTAL GOD THING. She was raised in a very good home and was brought up in the church. Well like some children do, she turned away from her parents and from God. She was also a single mom, her daughter was 9 months older than Jaden. Well my friend realized that she needed God back in her life. So she started going back to church and joined a bible study. She felt it on her heart to invite me to this bible study too.

It was kind of weird at the time I couldn't see it then, but now looking back I can. I was at the point of realizing I needed something more than I had in life. I didn't even hesitate when she invited me to bible study! And I was not the kind of girl that "fit in" at bible study! It never even crossed my mind that I might be the odd one out. I told her I was always interested in the bible but didn't really know much about it, and it would maybe be cool to learn something new. Well did I ever learn something new!!

The first 2-3 times I went, I think I cried almost the whole time. I was so broken I couldn't even speak. I just sobbed. And people prayed for me and encouraged me and just supported me. The women in that small group were amazing! My friend also got me in touch with a mentoring program at her church. I started attending church there and started meeting weekly with a women in her 40's who taught me so much about Jesus and His gift to us.

When Jaden was about 3 months old, I went home from one of these mentor meetings and just cried out to the Lord and begged Him to have me. I asked Him to enter my heart and my life because I was tired of being alone. I literally felt an instant inner change. It was AMAZING. I was over come with joy, peace, and companionship. I was alone for so long and just in an instant, I didn't feel alone anymore.

August 30, 2003 was the start of this journey I am on. Not a lonely journey, but a journey with The Great companion. That day I accepted my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to reign in me. He still resides in my inner most self 6 1/2 years later. I have not always let Him be Lord of my life these past 6 years, but He is there. I chose Him and I have been forever marked in Him with a seal.

~And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, Ephesians 1:13

The New Me......

2010-03-02T10:55:00.005-06:00

......is trying to be......more like HIM.

So many things have happened over the past many months that I have been away from blogging land. Good things, bad things, sad things, happy things, God things, evil things, painful things, heart things, growing things, dying things. LOTS of THINGS.

Things that I couldn't even begin to blog about right now. But I am hoping to start putting some of these things in writting and share them here soon.

I have decided that it is time to use this blog as I have wanted to use this blog for sometime now. I want to say what my heart and my mind are thinking and feeling without fear of what others may think or say. It is time for me to use this as an outlet or journal or reflection or whatever I see fit to use it as.

I am a new me, partly because of all these things that have happened over the past few months, but mostly because.....of HIM.....and my hearts desire to allow there to be more of HIM and less of me.

And I am ready to start sharing what the journey has looked like up to this point and what the journey will look like from this point on. Good, bad, and ugly. Because this journey includes God and HIS amazing love, grace, mercy, and faithfulness.....and I think THAT is worth sharing with anyone who will listen.

~He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30

Pssst.....you there?????

2010-02-27T15:55:00.002-06:00

Anyone???????

I am working on a comeback!!!!!

Stay tuned.........

for the new and improved.......

ME!

God is Faithful...always!

2009-08-28T07:22:00.005-05:00

It's been a few busy weeks in this household lately. And I see a few more busy weeks on the horizon. Jaden starts the 1st grade soon!! So we get to head out for a little bit of school shopping today, just me and him, I told him it's a date! I also get to do a little school shopping myself as I start the same day Jaden does!

Ken started this week and is already getting a little fired up about one of his teachers!! But I am excited for him to learn and grow and work toward his dreams of school too!

Yesterday I had my surgery done to remove a pesky kidney stone that would not go away!! It went well and hopefully in a few days I'll be back to normal. I will have a follow up in a few weeks and then we will decide what to do with my other big stones in my kidney that can't pass on their own! Lots of prayer for healing would be great! The less surgery I have to have the better!!!

Eli will be starting side by side preschool this year, and he is VERY excited to go!! I am too! I am praying that even though we will be busy again with everything in life, that we are going to sit back and enjoy the whole process, together as a family, with God leading the way!!

God has been SO faithful to us and I know He will continue to be, if we are seeking Him and His desires for us:)

I hope everyone has a splendoures weekend!

The Last 4 Years....

2009-08-22T18:49:00.003-05:00

have been full of fun, excitement, wonder, challenges, changes, prayers, hope, fear, encouragement, work, giving, taking, hopelessness at times, God, blessings, arguments, talking, dreaming, soul searching, loving, wishing, praying, serving, selfishness and selflessness, growing, children rearing, dates, family vacations, celebrations, good, bad, and ugly, beauty, peace, humility, strife, and many many blessings, and much much love.......and most importantly they have been full of.....US!

Happy Anniversary Ken!!!! I am so honored that I have been blessed and chosen to spend these last 4 years with YOU!! The ups the downs and the in betweens!! I love you:)

*this is in fact a few days late. We celebrated our big day on the 20th!! And this past weekend we were able to get out for a nice romantic date down in Minneapolis. A stroll through the big city and a very nice dinner at The Melting Pot. It was PERFECT....

A LONG few weeks!

2009-08-10T20:37:00.002-05:00

Well I am in the middle of what will be "a LONG few weeks!". You see my darling hubs is out of town working ALL week long for 3 weeks! YIKES!! He is home for the weekends so we at least get to see him for a few days:) You know that old saying or song!, "You don't know what you got, till it's gone" Man oh man have I been feeling like that! I do know what a great guy he is, but sometimes in the everyday scheme of things, you tend to take people and the things they do for granted. I miss him a ton and the boys miss him a ton!! I am looking forward to these "LONG few weeks!" to be done.

Our anniversary is coming up next week, and since he will be out of town for the BIG day, we are going to try and go out this weekend to.........The Melting Pot!!! YAY!! I am so excited for a little romantic dinner and date with my dearly beloved:) Still working out a few babysitter kinks, so if you feel so inclined.....pray for that for us!:)

I feel like I have SOOO many things to blog about, but I have been awake for WAY more than 24 hours and I am feeling a little sleepy typing this! Well....a LOT sleepy actually! Have an amazing night and wonderfully blessed day!!

Wild Olive Tees

2009-08-05T13:45:00.002-05:00

You have to go check out Wild Olive Tees. I have their Unfolding shirt and LOVE it!! They are coming out with a new Wild Olive kids tee line just in time for school. I know for sure I will be getting a CHOSEN shirt for Jaden and Elijah:) They also donate a portion fo the procedes to charity!

So what are you waiting for???? Go check them out already!

Goodbye.....

2009-08-03T12:50:00.009-05:00

Today was the day we had to say goodbye to my dear friend Amanda. Doug and Amanda and their daughter Sally are moving to Washington DC for school. Doug is going to law school and Amanda is a nurse and will be working out there while he is in school full time. They are preparing to be missionaries and are hopeful to work for IJM when Doug is done with school.
I am beyond excited for them and this journey the Lord has lead them down. I am however very sad that my best friend will no longer be just a mile down the road. I love her so much and she has been SOOO important to me and my family. My boys absolutely ADORE her!!! She is in fact Jaden's God Mother and has always taken that role very seriously. He told me today that he is gonna really miss her when she is gone.

She stopped over today before they leave town so she could say one last goodbye to the boys. They hugged and kissed and the boys each gave her a letter they made. Through the tears I was able to get a few pics of them.

Oh how I am going to miss her........

Girls Day Out

2009-07-30T22:22:00.005-05:00

Today I headed down to the Big City with my friends Sara and Amanda. It was our last ALL girls day out before Amanda moves to D.C. this week:(

So we started out with a mani/pedi to relax us and get us feeling girly. We walked around downtown for a little bit and people watched and checked out the farmers market a bit too. Then we headed over to The Melting Pot for lunch. It was AMAZING!! I loved it!! We ate so much and spent a ton of money. It was SO worth it though.

After eating so much food we decided to walk around town a little more and ended up at the M.A.C counter at Macy's. So while we were there we got our makeup done and bought a little product to help beautify us more:)

Then we headed on home, after getting a little lost trying to find our car!! It was a fun day to just hang out and be with each other. I am gonna miss Amanda a TON!

I have no pics since I forgot my camera but hopefully Sara will put some up from her iphone and then I can link them.

KEEP PRAYING PEOPLE

2009-07-24T11:14:00.004-05:00

UPDATED: KEEP THE PRAYERS COMING PEOPLESTELLAN IS NOT DOING WELLCLICK ON THE BUTTON TO BE DIRECTED TO MCKMAMA'S BLOGSO YOU CAN READ THE MOST RECENT UPDATES AND TWITTERSSTORM THE GATES OF HEAVEN WITH YOUR PRAYERS FOR THIS LITTLE GUYHE IS SO SWEET AND PRECIOUSAND HIS MAMA IS TOO PRAY FOR HEALING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This little guys needs your prayers again. He is headed into the hospital now to try some experimental drug treatments to try to help keep his SVT under control. Here is MckMamas most recent post about the situation. Lots of prayer needed people!!!!!

Isn't He Sweet....

2009-07-23T14:11:00.002-05:00

Me: Eli it's time for you to get in the bath.
E: No mommy. I take shower not bath!
Me: OK that's fine, lets get you in the shower then.
E: Mommy....you take a shower too? You take one with me?
Me: No Eli not today. Mommy doesn't need to take a shower right now.
E: Um yeah!! You take shower mommy. YOU STINKY!!!

Nice.

As Good As It Gets...

2009-07-22T08:39:00.002-05:00

I was just on the computer checking my email before I have to take Jaden to VBS and what do I hear coming from the living room....?????

My boys sitting on the recliner, NOT fighting, NOT arguing, NOT screaming.....nope non of those.....just READING the BIBLE! <3

Jaden is reading Eli his new Bible he got from VBS yesterday. Now Jaden doesn't really READ, so he was just telling Eli stories from memory and it was the sweetest noise a mommy could hear.....oh melt my heart......

What an awesome way to start my day!!!

*and now just in the time it took me to type this....my boys are shooting each other with their toy guns....go figure! I LOVE boys:)

Yikes!

2009-07-20T13:00:00.004-05:00

Boy oh boy do I have a LOT to catch everyone up on. That's what happens when you wait 4+ weeks to write a post!!! Yikes! As usual, summer gets the best of me and I find little time for computer activities as my children are ALWAYS chomping at the bit to get OUTSIDE!

Anyways....the most exciting news I have to share would obviously be the MCK BRUNCH this past Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We had planned on going to the Mck Picnic as well, but we had a family get together come up with my grandparents from out of state, so we were unable to hit the beach with everyone. And at the last minute my friend Sara suggested we find out if by chance there would be 2 available seats open at the brunch. Well wouldn't you know it, there were!!!

And here is one of many Adventures of Domestically Challenged and CarlsonClan......

So we headed down early Sunday morning for what would be an hour and a half trip. Now, if you know my friend Sara, then you KNOW that nothing with her goes as planned! So as we are on 494 her BRAND SPANKIN NEW iphone decides to FREEZE!!!! Seriously!!! What's the big deal you ask????? DIRECTIONS are the big deal! Sara is SO tech savvy that her step by step directions are OBVIOUSLY on her iphone!!! So here we are, country girls driving near the cities, with NO STINKIN CLUE where we are supposed to go! AHHHHHH.

Being a MORE type A than Sara, I had read through the directions at least once if not twice already before we went on our mini road trip. But about the ONLY thing I could remember was something about a CR 30 and a CR 5, like that was going to help us! Sara of course remembered the exact address to our destination, but nothing else......So the two of us were basically a big frickin MESS!!!!

So what do a couple of ladies do in a situation like that??? The smart thing of course....we stopped at a gas station for directions since we had no MEN with us:) So after TWO different gas stations, each with their perks and faults, we FINALLY made it to Waconia....(insert HUGE sigh of relief). Now, mind you, our hour and a half trip quickly turned into a 2 hour voyage:)

Needless to say, we were a bit late, aka Fashionably Late:) Except we weren't that fashionable either, well I guess Sara was sporting some really sweet heels to go along with her silver dollar blisters.... Anyways, as we pull into the parking lot Sara spots something very red and shinny.....(insert 2 silly teenage girl screams). It was Mckmama's truck!!! We have seen pictures before, but never had we seen her vehicle IRL!!!! So we KNEW this was the real deal, MckMama would surely be there.....

About this time we both thought, "What on earth are we doing???? Our husbands think we are NUTS! Are we NUTS???? Or are we just blog stalkers??? Or is it normal to be so nervous to meet someone IRL from the blogging world?? I mean it's not like MckMama is a movie star or something right?....or is she???? Will she even know who we are??" and so on and so on.......

Finally we got up enough nerve to walk into the restaurant. We immediately spotted MckMama (looking dashing in bright purple-she is one of those ladies that can pull off ANY color crayon color), but of course she was busy conversing with SO many women. So we found a few empty seats and settled in. By this time I was very nervous because a) we were late b) I am usually shy at first in big crowds of people and c) turns out we picked the table that had MckMama's Mama and sister!!! Double YIKES!

Thankfully MckMama's Mama and sister didn't bite and were VERY sweet! AND MckMama's Mama was a HOOT!! Man was she funny! Shortly after we made it to our table MckMama came by to meet us! She DID in fact remember me:) Yay!!! It was great to finally meet her!!! I was hoping to see Stellan too, but he was napping at home.

The brunch was GREAT! The people, the FOOD, the fellowship. It was all just a lot of fun. The food was really amazing. They had scones and fruit, bacon, eggs and french toast, a tossed chicken salad, and walleye, asparagus and potatoes. Oh it was just heavenly:) The day turned out to be wonderful:)

We were given cute orange bracelets as party favors from another blogger, and we were given a list of everyone that was there with their emails and blogs so we can keep in touch. We made time for a few group pictures too. The day ended with lots of hugs and thanksgiving for the special day. I would totally do that again! I only wish we were able to join in on the MckCruise fun this winter!!!

So it turns out I don't feel much like a blog stalker anymore:) And now I can say I have seen MckMama IRL!!!! Even though most people that I tell have NO CLUE what I am talking about!

Oh and the real bonus for Sara that day.....MckMama totally fixed her iphone!!!!! I guess that's what friends are for:)

AND we made it home in one piece without getting lost.

God Speaks!

2009-06-17T13:50:00.002-05:00

Yes He does!!! We don't always listen...but He always speaks!

I have been spending more time in the Word and He has been using that time to settle my heart and to speak to me about a few things. I just LOVE when He does that:)

The last few days he has been giving me peace with scripture like this:

"Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father is my brother and sister and mother."
~Matthew 12:48-50

Sometimes our worldly families are just plane messed up. But that is because they are human and not of Him, but of the world. Fortunately for some people their worldly families are of Him and so they are also apart of their spiritual family. But for some people, such as myself, that is just not the case.

I have an amazing sense of peace, only from God, about this topic of families. He has shown me time and time again that it is indeed His spiritual family that I belong to because He has adopted me as a believer.

I am so thankful for Him and my brothers and sisters in Christ. They are more amazing than any family a girl like me could even dream of!!

In Christ...

2009-06-16T09:53:00.004-05:00

I am God's child. John 1:12

I have been justified. Romans 5:1

I have been redeemed and forgiven of ALL my sins. Colossians 1:14

I am free forever from condemnation. Romans 8:1,2

I am assured that ALL thing work together for good. Romans 8:28

I am free from ANY condemning charges against me. Romans 8:31

I cannot be separated from the love of God. Romans 8:35

I am confident that the good work that God has begun in me will be perfected. Philippians 1:6

I have NOT been given a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. 2 Timothy1:7

I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me. 1 John 5:18

I am a branch of the TRUE Vine, a channel of His life. John 15:1,5

I am personal witness for the Lord Jesus Christ. Acts 1:8

I may approach God with freedom and confidence. Ephesians 3:12

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

My Promise for the Week

2009-06-15T22:16:00.002-05:00

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you"

~Matthew 5:11-12

Another Running Post

2009-06-13T22:31:00.002-05:00

I know lame...right?? Have I nothing better to talk about than running?? Well.....not really:)

Anyways, I did another 5K this morning with my partner in crime, Sara. This one was right in our home town and we actually ran through my neighborhood! It started out a little rocky and ended a little rocky, but the middle was OK!

My first mile included one NASTY hill in the park but I still managed to finish that mile in 8:30!!!! That is insane, I NEVER run that fast, ever! I can tell I was pushing it too much though because my breathing was all out of whack and I just couldn't find my cadence for some reason.

After that I slowed it down a bit and got a little bit of my rhythm back. My time at mile 2 was 19:02, so you can see that I REALLY slowed it down compared to the first mile, but I normally run about an 11 or 11:30 mile.

Shortly after hitting the 2 mile mark I got a TERRIBLE stomach cramp. I tried running through it, but I just had to stop for a minute or two and walk it out. The cramp resolved and I went back at it. The last mile included 2 hills, one down, and one up right at the finish line, YUCK!

I totally got passed by Alicia who was looking good pushing a double stroller!! She did awesome and totally kicked my butt!

I crossed the finish line at 31 minutes some odd seconds, I can't remember for sure. So overall, I did better than my first 5K. I took off about 3 or 4 minutes which is awesome!

Maybe next time I can get it under 30 minutes!

And maybe next time I can try to pace myself a little better at the start so that the last mile isn't so rough.

It was nice having the kids and Ken there at the finish line! My friend Annie and her mom and sister came too! It helps you finish a little stronger when you have people cheering you on.

Yay for running!! I am looking forward to training myself this summer to get ready to do that 10K in September:)

Sorry I bored you all with my feeble attempts at running....but it's my blog...so there!:)

4 Miles Down.....2 To Go

2009-06-05T13:31:00.004-05:00

So last night I went out for another run with my buddy Sara aka Domestically Challenged! I wanted to try and go for a 4 mile run this time since I have been able to do 3 mile runs a few times now. So we ventured out, on a new route, and totally did 4 miles!! Yay!! It may not be big to some people, but to me it is HUGE!! 4 months ago I could hardly run 5 minutes without certain death!

I am just so happy that accomplished my goal that I set out before me. Physically I know I can run, but my biggest challenge with running is the mental part. It can be such a mind game sometimes!!

So I am ready for my next 5K on the 13th here in Cambridge!! Sara and I are going to try a few hill runs this week in preparation for it.

And maybe if I keep at this pace I will be ready for that 10K in September:)

Movie Night

2009-06-04T16:28:00.002-05:00

So Ken and I finally went on a date!! It has been forever since we have gone out with just us, no kids, no friends, just him and I. We jumped on the motorcycle and headed down town (Cambridge that is!) to the bar and grill where we had burgers and a drink (or two!) and then headed to the movie theater to watch a show. We saw Star Trek and we both loved it!!! Plus we saw previews for 2 other movies we can't wait to see, Transformers 2, and GI JOE!

It was great to spend time together! I love him dearly and love when we get us time. We both forget how important that is!

A Whole Year Older.....

2009-06-03T15:23:00.003-05:00

and not much wiser....... I don't think!

I had a great time last night with some friends and my husband. We hogged the huge corner booth at Applebees for about 4 hours:) We laughed, and ate, and had a few drinks, and laughed some more! Get a few girls together and the giggles are almost unstoppable! We had the best looking Waiter in the house too!!! Even my husband was impressed by his good looks! All in all it was a good birthday celebration:)

Earlier in the day I got treated to Caribou by Jaden's grandma (Thanks Julie!!) and a fresh bouquet of Lilacs picked by my boys. Then Jaden and Eli sang me happy birthday during lunch. It was so cute! Jaden told me he was going to make me a cake this week when daddy has time to help him.

I can't believe I am 26 already. I know that 26 isn't old, but man it feels like I just turned 21!!

Slow and Steady

2009-05-27T13:22:00.002-05:00

I am slowly starting to get myself out of this rut I have been in. Thanks for all the encouraging words:) I have started The Love Dare this week and so far so good. I was supposed to start it a few weeks ago with a few other gals (sorry Miss and Kristie, I have been a slacker!) but I just picked it up from the store. Better late than never I guess.

I have still been running, a little. I should be running more but I feel like I have been really busy with work and family stuff. Hopefully I will get out tonight when Ken gets home. I am doing another 5K on June 12th or 13th, I can't remember. This one is right in Cambridge so hopefully I will have a couple of cute boys waiting for me at the finish line:)

The past 2 weeks have been filled with lots of yard work around here. I have put in a few new gardens and have a few more to go. I am really starting to enjoy gardening and I am hoping that mixed with my running will be great stress relievers!

My baby turned 6 last week. I have been in total denial about it. I can't believe it has been 6 years already!!! Time goes by WAY too fast. He had a fun party at the pool with family and friends. He is getting so big so fast.

Here's to hoping the rest of this week involves sunshine!!!!

Oh and big props to my faithful running buddy Sara!! She just finished her first marathon on Sunday!! She isn't running with me this week because she needs to rest, but she will be back at in no time I'm sure:)

Ruts

2009-05-14T13:10:00.003-05:00

I am in a rut. A really big one actually. You know the kind where the only person to blame is yourself. The kind of rut where you were the big dork that decided to put the little car your in, in reverse and try to drive across the big wet stinky muddy swamp. Yup, that kind of rut. YUCK!

How does a person put it in drive and make it out of that mess? Cause I need some serious 4x4 off road super charged with a hemi drive!

I can't say for sure when it all started (read: the minute I decided I was a better pilot than God), I can say that it has been going on for a little while (read: TOO long). I think I had something to do with it (read: I had EVERYTHING to do with it). Things don't seem to be looking up (read: I haven't been looking UP, to HIM). I really think I am not having much fun (read: this really sucks royally). I wish I knew what to do (read: HE knows that I know what to do). I am kinda being a little stubborn about getting out of this rut (read: I am being a royal pain in the rear and completely ignoring the obvious).

You know when you know what you have to do, but you just can't seem to do it? Well I do ALL too well.

God is the only thing that can get me out of this rut, but honestly I am kinda hurt and frustrated by God lately. That kinda puts a damper on me going to him for help, even though that is EXACTLY what I should do.

I am mad at church and even more mad that my husband and I can't agree on a church. I am sad that the church that we loved fell apart and even more sad that we don't even have relationships with some of those people anymore. I am devastated that our circle of friends and slowly grown smaller and even more devastated that my best friend ever is moving across the county to Washington DC for at least 3 years if not 1o. I am heart broken that my husband and I can't seem to be unified on anything lately and even more heart broken that neither of us can seem to see or even feel the other persons pain although we are supposed to be One. And I am furious at myself that I decided I didn't need God "that bad" these past months and even more furious that I can't just bring myself to him in the heaping tearful mess that I am because I feel like big fat loser and waste of His time. And to top it all off, I have been running and running for 2.5 months and haven't lost a single pound which totally adds to my ridiculous self image and worthlessness.

Dumb.

I had to vent. Mostly b.c. I need prayer. b.c. I am tired of pretending life is grand and oh so happy and perfect. Sometimes life sucks. And I know it could suck more. But life right now stinks. And I am tired of it..............

I Did It!!!!!

2009-05-09T16:21:00.002-05:00

Today was the Moms Day 5K in Minneapolis. I ran the WHOLE 3.2 miles in the wind and cold. And the first half was up hill!! I finished in about 35 minutes which is about an 11:15 min/mile. Kinda slow, but I am just so pleased I didn't stop to walk:)

3 Months ago I couldn't even run for 3 minutes!!

Next up????? Maybe a 10K in September:)

I couldn't have done it without my friend Sara who has been my faithful running buddy:) She did awesome at keeping me going!

Back from Vacation!

2009-05-02T09:12:00.004-05:00

Bet you didn't even know I was on vacation, since I blog so much:) Anyways, we are home, we are tired, and we are missing the sun and the fun. We went to Arizona to visit my grandparents! It was a ton of fun, and the kids had a great time. I don't know if my grandparents had that much fun with their house being overtaken with a noisey family of 5, but what the hey, family is worth it right??!!

I have to work all weekend so I most likely wont have time to get pics up here, but hopefully in a few days.

I actually took more video than pics for some reason:)

I will try to put something together to share with everyone. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Randomness and a Spring Fling!!

2009-04-16T02:23:00.001-05:00

Where have I been?? Well, NOT cleaning, NOT packing for our trip, NOT getting our vehicle ready for the long haul......so I guess that leaves WORK!!

Yup that's where I have been:) Putting in the extra hours so I can enjoy our approaching vacation. I work up until the day before we leave, GREAT! So you will most likely find me packing the morning we are scheduled to depart! What happened to be being so organized with these types of things??? Oh yeah, kids and a husband!

In other news. I ran outside again today with Sara. I did MUCH better than last time, I think maybe the full night of sleep before hand helped:) I have not been able to stick to my couch to 5K running program this week. I am supposed to do 3 seperate 28 minute runs this week and I just can't do it. Physically I think my body can handle it, but mentally I have struggled with pushing myself this week. Oh well, not the end of the world. I am also trying to increase how often I am running outside which is very important since my race is NOT on a treadmill, shocking I know!

Anyways, sorry to bore you with the not so fun inner workings of my mind:)

I am way looking forward to the spring fling this Saturday.....I can't wait to make my post heheheheh. It's gonna be good!!!! If you want to know what the spring fling is, check out my friend Sara, she has ALL the details (including an accurate email!! j/k sara!).

Me complaining...a lot...

2009-04-05T17:25:00.002-05:00

arrrgggg. So I have been nothing but a big baby today. So much so that my husband freaked out and called me a big sally!!!

So I did my run on Friday, right, it was good, it was hard, yada yada yada...I worked Friday night and then had breakfast with my aunt on Sat morning, which was great fun-we had lots of catching up to do.

Then I got home at noonish and was going to lay down and sleep since I had to work again Sat night. Well then I decided to take my friend Sara up on her offer to run outside......BAD IDEA!!!

She came over and we headed out for a run, my first outdoor run of the season. It was cold, I was tired ( like awake for more than 24hours tired), and I had just run the day before (I always take a day off between running since I am just a beginner runner).

It totally sucked! The whole time. We only did 1.75 miles, pathetic I know, and I was miserable.

When I got home and was able to go to bed I could NOT sleep. I had a terrible headache and felt nauseated. I ended up getting put on call for work (thank goodness), but I slept like crap all night, up every hour at least.

So today I feel like I was hit by a bus, a really big one!

So I am complaining about running, not feeling well, having extremely painful muscles, and this stupid headache that has still not departed. Yuck!

Days like yesterday and today make me want to give up running. But I know that I have to stick with it! I can do it. I will do it......just NOT two days in a row after being up for 24+ hours and outside when it's cold!

Monday I will be running on my treadmill:)

Week 6.....DONE!

2009-04-03T11:36:00.004-05:00

My week 6 couch to 5K break down:

Day 1: Walk 5min, run 5 min, walk 3 min, run 8 min, walk 3 min, run 5 min, walk 5 min
This day was really easy, since day 3 of week 5 was running 20 min, this seemed like a breeze! I did an 11 min/mile while running.

Day 2: Walk 5, run 10, walk 3, run 10, walk 5. This was a little more challenging, but I did it and it felt great when I was done. I also did an 11 min/mile while running this week.

Day 3: Which I did TODAY:) Walk 5, run 25, walk 5!!! Yikes. I ran a 11:30 min/mile until the last 2 minutes when I bumped it up to a 11 min/mile. I never slowed down though:) This was a hard run, for me. I did a total of 2.75 miles with the walking time included.

I always feel so good when I am done running, but I have yet to actually REALLY enjoy myself while running. I hope that comes at some point! I can't believe what a mind battle running is. It is WAY more mental than physical, in my opinion! It has helped this week having some great music to run with.

Last week when I ran my first 20 minutes solid, I bought my self an ipod for a job well done:) Turns out that was a great idea and has really helped me to stay focused this week.

I am looking forward to Week 7, as all 3 runs will be for 25 minutes.

3 Miles here I come!!

God Is Awesome

2009-04-01T12:34:00.002-05:00

I was just in the mood to say that I think God is Awesome. I love him and think he is swell. He is one heck of a guy. A great Father. A wonderful friend. A perfect definition of love. He IS love. He is many things. My Savior. My freedom. I get goose bumps just thinking about Him! Thanks God for being you.

Watch KSTP Channel 5 News tonight at 10pm!!

2009-03-31T19:39:00.002-05:00

KSTP is doing a story on MckMama for the 10pm news tonight!

Everybody watch it!!!!

My Favorite Song By Far...............

2009-03-31T15:19:00.001-05:00

Not Me! Monday~ Stellan Style

2009-03-29T11:35:00.006-05:00

I totally did not contribute about 8,000 of the hits on MckMamas blog per DAY. Not Me!!

I did not check MckMamas blog and twitter once per hour while working the night shift, just to make sure that I didn't miss anything, or to make sure there wasn't something else to be praying for. Nope Not Me!

I did not sit and talk to one of my co-workers(who also reads mckmamas blog) about Stellan as if he was part of our close circle of friends and family or something. That would make me some kind of stalker for sure, Not Me!

I did not tell random people about this little boy "I knew" who needed prayers and encouraged them to pray for him and his family. They did not ask how "I knew" this boys family and my answer was not, "oh they are blogging friends". That got a few interesting looks!!! As if I am actually mckmamas friend...I WISH!!!

I have not been thinking about Stellan all of the time!! I have not been trying to come up with something really awesome to send Mckmama and Stellan in the hospital, something useful and thoughtful, and original............I still can't think of anything!!!

I have not been researching ALL of the medications and medical conditions associated with Stellans hospital stay hoping to understand more about what Mckmama is dealing with. Well, OK actually I did do these things...........I am a nurse after all. I LOVE learning about anything medical!!!!

And I especially did not pray for Stellan, nope no praying here:)

Not Me!!!!!!!!

I Did It!

2009-03-28T14:19:00.002-05:00

I did it!! I finally ran a solid 2 miles...almost!! Just under 2 miles actually, and I thought I was dead when it was over. I came up stairs and the first thing Jaden said was "Mom what happened to you? Your forehead is all wet and shiney!!"

Yes I looked rough. But I did it and I never stopped once and I never decreased my pace. Yahooooo!

3 Miles HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeble Attempts at Running

2009-03-27T21:32:00.003-05:00

I need to give a little update on my running....mainly for my records, as most of you probably aren't that interested in my feeble attempts at running:)

I have one day left of week 5 and then I'll be moving on to week 6. I am still running 3 days a week, and averaging a little over 2 miles each time. So a grand total of about 6.5 miles per week Which means I have run about 24 miles in the past month or so, that ROCKS!!! I have only been running about a 11 minute mile, but at this point I will take anything.

I am still alternating running and walking, so I have yet to actually run those whole 2 miles. At times I feel like I should be pushing myself a little more, but I am sticking to this 9 week program and don't want to rush myself. I have actually been enjoying running and my legs have not been hurting too much. In the past when I have attempted running my legs always hurt after the second or third time running and then I give up...but not this time!

I am enjoying the pace of the this program for the most part and I am really looking forward to being able to run my 5K the beginning of May with my friend Sara.

I did get a new pair of running and shoes and they are GREAT.

The only thing I would like to see change is........my weight!!! I was hoping that running would help me lose weight in addition to strengthening my cardio system. Oh well, some day soon...I hope!

Praying for Stellan

2009-03-23T18:36:00.003-05:00

Please visit MckMama and read about their prayer needs for Stellan. It has been a crazy 24 hours for them.

If you believe in the Mighty Healing Power of our Lord and Savior...

Flood the gaits with prayers.......

Random Stuff

2009-03-14T16:07:00.002-05:00

OK seriously. I need to keep up with this blog WAY more than I do. I would like to say that I have been SOOOO busy the last few weeks running in ALL my spare time that I have not had a chance to post anything, but that would be a lie. Although I have still been running, but only 3 days a week. At this point, that is about all my legs can take!

I have been averaging about 2 miles 3 times a week for a total of 6 miles a week:) Yay, that is way more than I have done in like EVER!!

I must say that I have started to enjoy it a little more but it is still hard sometimes to get myself motivated to get on the treadmill. And I have also been very frustrated because I am not loosing any weight!! ugg....

I went swim suit shopping last night and it basically sucked! It's like a bad dream but worse, cuz it is TOTAL reality. I hate swim suit shopping no matter what, but I was hopeful that I would feel better about myself since I have been diligent with working out....NOT the case at all.

Oh well, I figure I should be able to find a cute printed moo-moo to wear swimming.

We are leaving in a month for a nice 10 day vacation with the kiddos. This will be our first ever family trip. And it will be a road trip, 27 hours one way. Yahoo! It will be interesting driving down to Arizona with all the kids, but I love road trips and I think we are gonna have a ton of fun. The kids are really looking forward to it too.

I realize that I have not posted any pics of the kids for a long time, and honestly I have not taken any pics of the kids for a while, so I am working on putting some up here. I also am working on a video of Eli talking. He is just a chatter box!! It is SO cute when he talks and it just makes me smile every time he says something. God totally answers prayers!! Eli is going to be an amazing speaker of Gods word some day, I just KNOW it:)

Running Totals

2009-03-01T22:16:00.003-06:00

Here are my totals for this week. The numbers sound pathetic, but I gotta start somewhere!

Tues. 1.75 miles of alternating between running and walking
Thurs. 1.75 miles of alternating between running and walking
Sat. 2 miles of alternating between running and walking

For a total of 5.5 miles :)

I finished up with week 2 of my 9 week couch potato to 5K runner program. YAHOO!!!!!!

Week 3.....here I come!

The Big Race

2009-02-26T10:09:00.004-06:00

OK here is the big reveal....although it CAN'T top Mckmamas big reveal!!!

I have decided on a race:) I will be doing the Moms Day 5K, in May, by the way!!!! Oh I am a dork.

Anyways it is el-cheapo, which is awesome, it is still a ways away so I have time to train(i.e. be able to run the WHOLE 3 miles without a heart attack), and each person that crosses the finish line gets a plant since it's the day before mothers day:)

What fun!

Here is the info (click on May, then click on Moms Day 5K) for anyone that wants to join me!! We should get a group of moms together from our area and run together, but seriously no one has to run as slow as I do! I'll just meet you ladies at the finish line:)

So I Started Running.....

2009-02-17T13:45:00.002-06:00

and NO I have not been running in public! I don't want to offend anyone. Maybe after I lose 20 pounds I will make my way outdoors to run, but until then, strictly indoors, in my basement, ALONE!

I have always wanted to be a runner, and I have tried a few times over the past few years to do this. However, I have not known the best way to start and I end up to the point where I can bearly walk, so then I just give up. Well, I found this great website that says it can turn me from a couch potato to a 5K runner in 9 weeks. Sounds like a long time to get me to run only 3 miles without dying, but hey it's worth a try.

So I am at the end of week 1 and so far so good. In addition to using the treadmill I have been going to Zumba classes once a week and getting a really good workout! So far I have lost 3 pounds, I'm sure it's only water weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But whatever, 3 pounds is better than a big fat ZERO.

I am trying to find a 5K run in April or May that I can participate in. Anyone know any good websites that have that kind of local info????

One day down.....

2009-02-16T20:41:00.002-06:00

I made it through the day! It turned out to be a GREAT day. We didn't follow the routine exactly, but we did try to follow as much of it as we could. For example, I did NOT wake up early enough to get all my stuff done before the children woke up. So I ended up running and showering during nap time which worked out just fine. I didn't get nearly as much laundry done as I would have liked, but I am still working on it, and there is always tomorrow!

The one amazing thing about today was......I didn't give 1 single timeout or spanking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There were a few times my voice needed to be raised, but over all the boys did fantastic today. They do so much better with structure.

I am looking forward to trying to work the routine tomorrow as well. Jaden and Eli both have school, but I think we will be staying home as Jaden has a sore throat and sounds like he swallowed a frog.

Welcome to the oh so boring life of Jazz!

Routine.... Or Lack There Of

2009-02-13T14:47:00.002-06:00

Seriously! It has been over a week since I posted! I need major blogging help! Totally kidding, btw. What I really need is a more functioning schedule. My work schedule has been totally out of whack because of all the extra shifts I was picking up, and now it is finally back to normal for the most part, but now I just can't seem to get on a daily home schedule that works.

I am in the middle of a 7 day stretch of NO work. I thought for sure I would have accomplished so much, and yet I feel as though I have accomplished hardly anything at all. I am so stinkin exhausted all I want to do is lounge around when I have extra time. Yuck! I hate being lazy.

I guess I should give myself some credit, my house has been fairly clean and maintained the last few days. Laundry...not so much. My poor hubby has to search the house every morning looking for socks!

Anyways, I am just trying to come up with a better routine on a day-to-day basis. It always seems like our days are so different. Between my working nights, Jaden having school every other day, Eli having speech 2 mornings a week, and preschool 2 afternoons a week, daycare one day a week, I can't get down a routine or schedule that works smoothly. It is so frustrating.

I am hoping to start fresh on Monday with a routine something like this:

Wake before the children-run, shower, start breakfast, maybe sneak in a load of laundry
Wake the children
Breakfast
Get the children ready-bath/shower, dressed
Have some play time-clean up the kitchen
Group activity-game, books, craft
Morning snack
Engage children in helping tidy up the house for a few minutes
Head downstairs-more laundry, play time for kids, maybe a short movie
Upstairs-get lunch ready, have kids pick out a story for after lunch, have kids set the table
Lunch
Story
Nap for Eli, quiet time for Jaden, Computer/quiet time for mom
Afternoon snack
Outside if weather is nice or inside game/art
Downstairs again-play time, more laundry
Upstairs- prepare dinner, 15 minute power pick up, boys set table
Dinner
Family time after dinner clean up
Get ready for bed
Story
Bed time
Mom relax time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope this works well. Monday there is no school and no daycare so it will be a good day to mess with our current routine and work out the kinks. Tuesday will be a whole different story! Here's to hoping this helps!

Welcome to Lectio Divina

2009-02-03T16:19:00.003-06:00

I have been wanting to do this for a while. I am not sure how it will work via blog, but I feel like this is what I am supposed to do. Thanks to a couple that Ken and I hold dear to hearts, we were introduced to Lectio Divina, and it is amazing. So I want to share it with you.

Lectio Divina is the reading of Scripture not to satisfy our minds with answers, but reading of Scripture for “such things as move the heart to devotion” (Thomas a Kempis).

To do this requires intentionally shedding the common methods most of us use when we read. Tony Jones notes,

The fact is, we read mostly for entertainment or information. Whether it be a novel, the newspaper, magazines, professional journals, or the Bible, we read almost exclusively for these two reasons. We need to approach the Bible differently for lectio.
(Sacred Way, p. 51)

In Lectio we listen not for information but for connection. We listen for Jesus: the living, active, incarnate Word. When we hear him, he speaks to our hearts.

The four step process is as follows:
~Lectio (Reading)
~Meditatio (Meditation)
~Oratio (Prayer)
~Contemplatio (Contemplation)

Again, the purpose of this process is not to receive a communiqué of information but to commune with God: to feel his touch, to hear his voice, to taste his goodness, which will change us.

Lectio (Reading)

~Pick a quiet and solitary place to read, preferably the same “sacred place” each time.
~Pray a prayer expecting to sense God’s presence and voice.
~Read the text slowly, repeatedly, and aloud. Hold a hand or hands open, palms up, to symbolize your desire to receive the Word.
~Listen for a certain word or phrase or image that rises above the rest of the text and grabs hold of you.
~Write down you answer to the Lectio step: “What word or phrase or sentence jumped out at you as you listened?”

Meditatio (Meditation)

~Write a couple of sentences of reflection around what you heard or saw. What feelings and emotions does it conjure up?

Oratio (Prayer)

~Write a brief prayer of response to what you hear God saying to you.

Contemplatio (Contemplation)

~Reread the passage to simply soak in, to rest in, the Word. Then be still and let silence be the song you are singing together.

*After going through Lectio individually and as part of a small group, it has completely changed the way I understand devotion time with God. I am hoping to post scripture once a week for people to participate in. I will share some of what God has shown or spoken to me, and you can feel free to leave a comment with the same, or make a separate post on your blog. I just want to encourage people to participate, it really can be amazing when we give dedicated time and silence to God.

This weeks verses:

Isaiah 4 3:1-3a, 4b

But now, this is what the Lord says

he who created you...

he who formed you..:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name;

you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord, your God,

the Holy One...,

your Savior...

and

I love you."

Lectio:
What word or phrase or image jumped out at you as you listened?
"Fear not, I have redeemed you, summoned you, you ARE mine." I am redeemable, I am worth something, I am needed for something important, to be summoned is a "big deal", not to be taken lightly, I AM HIS. The word WHEN stuck out to me each time it was used. So matter of fact- not IF, but WHEN you pass through the waters, rivers, and fire....
I will be with you.

Meditatio:
Write a couple of sentences of reflection around what you heard or saw. What feelings and emotions does it conjure up?
God has summoned me for something in His great plan. It involves trusting Him, NEEDING Him. There WILL be troubles and obstacles, but ALSO victories. It brings a mix of emotions to me.

Oratio:
Write a brief prayer of response to what you hear God saying to you.
Thank you Father for revealing this to me. Show me Lord where you have summoned me, where you need me in your great plan. Remind me that I am yours, because I am human and insecure at times, and I forget that I BELONG to you. Do as your word says and be with me, allow me to feel your presence more. Help me through the waters, rivers, and fires. I will go through them for you, I know they will strengthen me. Thank you Lord for loving me. For saving me. For allowing me to be yours. For redeeming me, and calling me by name. I am ready to listen. To be still. To be silent to you and your will for my life.

Contemplatio:
Reread the passage to simply soak in, to rest in, the Word. Then be still and let silence be the song you are singing together.

Then share with us what God revealed to you!

p.s. Thank you to Dale for introducing us to Lectio, we LOVE it!

Yay For This Weekend

2009-01-30T14:33:00.002-06:00

I am so looking forward to this weekend. There is so much to look forward to. I don't work again until Monday, my husbands birthday is today, we get to go out for pizza and games with the boys tonight, Ken and I and a bunch of friends get to go skiing tomorrow with NO kids, and we get to go to church on Sunday as a family.

God is good and I just love him so...

Randoms

2009-01-29T15:27:00.003-06:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? Um, I have been up since yesterday morning at about 6:00. I did have a 2 hour mini nap in there somewhere, I think.
2. Diamonds or pearls: DIAMONDS
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Fireproof with my lovely husband.
4. What is your favorite TV show? Greys Anatomy
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? lots of things, I love a BIG breakfast, oatmeal, eggs, cereal, toast, bacon, fruit, mmmmm.
6. What is your middle name? Kristine
7. What food do you dislike? mushrooms, YUCK
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Honestly, I have not been listening to music lately. I am addicted to conservative talk radio, Yes, I am a dork!
9. What kind of car do you drive? The typical soccer mom mini van, and I love it.
10. Favorite sandwich? Either a veggie sandwich, or a turkey and veggie sandwich, with humus.
11. What characteristic do you despise? Being fake (I agree with you Miss)
12. Favorite item of clothing? A sexy pair of jeans that fits just right. I don't actually own a pair anymore!
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Europe or Australia, but I hate to fly. So that limits my options.
14. Favorite brand of clothing? Whatever fits and doesn't require a second mortgage on my house to buy.
15. Where would you retire to? Anywhere close to my children and grandchildren.
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? A few years ago a few friends and I went and had a tea party that was a TON of fun.
17. Favorite sport to watch? Something girly like gymnastics.
Furthest place you are sending this? I have no stinking idea.
19. Person you expect to send it back first? Again, no stinking idea.
20. When is your birthday? June 02, yup everyone forgets because it's at the beginning of the month.
Are you a morning person or a night person? I used to be a morning person. I have never been a night person, but now I work nights. I have become some strange combination of both. I am an "awake all the time" person I guess.
22. What is your shoe size? 9-10
23. Pets? A toy poodle named Latte and a gold fish named Goldy(original I know).
24. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? I wish!!!
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A model, a teacher, or a stay at home mom. What was I thinking!
26. How are you today? Great for being awake since yesterday morning. And very very proud of my Little Eli.
27. What is your favorite candy? CHOCOLATE anything.
28. What is your favorite flower? I am having a brain fart here......I know what they look like but can't remember their name.
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? When I am debt free.
30. What's your full name? Jacynda Kristine
31. What are you listening to right now? Jaden teaching Eli a few new words while he sits on the toilet. Weird I know, buy hey, anything to get Eli interested in using the bathroom.
32. What was the last thing you ate? A few crackers and hot coco.
33. Do you wish on stars? nope.
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black.
35. How is the weather right now? Cold.
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today?Jeni Z.
37. Favorite soft drink? Root beer, but hold the root. Totally joking!
38. Favorite restaurant? Anything Italian or seafood.
39. Real hair color? A weird shade of red.
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? Anything that wasn't mine.
41. Summer or winter? I like spring:)
42. Hugs or kisses? Lots of both. Hugs from my boys, kisses from my man.
43. Chocolate or Vanilla? Is there any other flavor than CHOCOLATE?
44. Coffee or tea? Both, depends on the day.
45. Do you want your friends to answer these? For sure, especially Sara T
46. When was the last time you cried? Today while I was watching my baby at preschool and listening to him say a TON of words I have never heard him say before.
47. What is under your bed? I am afraid to look.
48. What did you do last night? I worked all night.
49. What are you afraid of? Lots of things. I have a terrible problem with fear. Mainly I am afraid to die before my boys are adults.
50. Salty or sweet? Sweet oh so sweet.
51. How many keys on your key ring? One
52. How many years at your current job? 7 months
53. Favorite day of the week? Any day I have off and am with the family.
54. How many towns have you lived in? 5
55. Do you make friends easily?I have no idea, ask them.

Please copy and paste to your blog and leave comment so I can go read yours!!!

My morning went something like this....

2009-01-26T11:56:00.003-06:00

...leave work on time despite the CRAZY busy night we had.
Drive to the in laws in -14 degree weather, brrr(thank goodness for the new remote starter!).
Get to the in laws only to be greeted by my 3 year old with a "no" and a shove to try to get me to leave.
Spend 30 minutes getting my son ready and willing to leave gramas without a fight.
Get out to the van, only to have him refuse to sit in his booster seat.
Force him into his booster seat and take his toys away for being naughty.
Drive home while listening to him kick and scream like the world was coming to an end.
Pull over on Hwy 95 to spank him for successfully climbing OUT of his booster seat while I was driving 60mph.
Continue to listen to him kick and scream.
Drive with my L hand while holding him IN his booster seat with my R hand (very safe I am sure!)
Yell at him for being so out of control this morning.
Pull over again because he over powered me and climbed out of his booster AGAIN!
Continue to drive home while holding onto his jacket with a death grip while he throws a fit on the floor of my van.
Continue to hold him and brake for the upcoming stop sign, which throws him up to the front of the van.
He continues to kick and scream, never mind the fact he whacked his head on the seat.
Physically hold him down on the floor between the two front seats of my van while driving the last 3 blocks home.
Curse a few times to myself for what a sucky morning it is obviously going to be.
Get home only to have the garage door only open half way because of the cold.
Get out of the van and carry my screaming child into the house and spank him again and put him in his room for a VERY long time out.
Put myself in my room for a VERY long time out.
Ask God for a miracle amount of patience.
Pray that no one saw what was going on in my van and turn me into social services!!!!!!!

And this was only the first hour of my morning........Today is GOING to be great!

p.s. God did give me patience, thank goodness. And the rest of my morning hasn't been bad:)

25 Random Things About Me

2009-01-25T10:50:00.003-06:00

Thanks for tagging me Sara! You are OH too kind...and funny!

1. I am laying in bed this very minute, half dressed.
2. Yes hunny, you heard me right........(that got his attention)!
3. Me and chocolate are BFF's.
4. Especially chocolate with carmel...mmmm.
5. I have a secret love affair with 80's rock music.
6. OK I lied, it isn't a secret.
7. My boys are my life.
8. I have to be reminded constantly by my therapist that I AM NOT LIKE MY MOTHER!
9. I am actually starting to believe her.
10. I am craving pizza right now.
11. I think my friend Sara is a Spaz.
12. She thinks so too.
13. I am in love with my friend Amanda's new baby.
14. I am trying to come up with a really good plan where I can steal her baby and she won't notice :)
15. It isn't working.
16. I sometimes wear my high heels when I am cleaning my house.
17. It makes me feel like a sexy french maid.
18. I recently started running.
19. It is ridiculous to look at.
20. I have been wanting to have a Pampered Chef party for months.
21. I am too lazy to plan it.
22. I work nights, and love it.
23. Just not full time.....that stinks.
24. I am DYING to have another baby.
25. My husband isn't.

I want to know 25 Random Things About YOU:)

Give me an E.....Give me a L......Give me an I....what does that spell....ELI, ELI, ELI!!! Yay ELI!!!!

2009-01-22T15:49:00.003-06:00

OK so I am weird, big surprise! Have you seen my family tree???????? J/K

Anyways, as you may have guessed, this much over due post is about ELI!!!!

My cute little fella with very few words........

until now that is!!!!!

That is right people. We have had a break through with speech:) (cue standing applause)

My baby can now say,

mom, dad, ball, go, in, pop, no, gone, uh oh, doc & the king(from the Cars movie), please, and I think I may be forgetting a few!!!

Now they don't ALL sound exactly like what they should, but beggars CAN'T be choosers!

He is saying them fairly regularly around the house, but still not much in public or for his speech therapist.

But some progress is better than no progress and I am completely giddy that my baby says mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is the cutest thing I have ever heard:)

So this post is for you ELIJAH!

Mommy is BEYOND proud of you! I know that you are going to grow to become an amazing speaker of Gods Word to many. Keep up the hard work buddy! We love you with all our love.

Ramblings.....

2009-01-22T08:56:00.003-06:00

I can't believe how long it has been since I have posted something or anything with substance. I have been SO crazy busy and tired lately.

I have discovered that ME + working FULL time = TIRED, CRABBY, and FORGETFUL

*note to self, quit working!.......yeah right!

You may wonder, why on earth am I working full time? Because I can (it is a blessing), and because my wonderful hubby has been layed off since the start of December. So the good news, it has only been temporary. Thank you Jesus!!! Ken is back to work this week, and has a few weeks of work lined up, so I get to take it easy again:)

I miss being home with my little fellas. I miss having a memory. I miss cooking dinner every night for my hard working husband. I miss sleeping. I miss having a clean house. Ahhhhhh.......

You know it's bad when you realize that you forgot when you last showered!!!!! Or what day of the week of the month of the year it is!!!! Or the last time you slept more than 3 hours at a time!!!! Yikes, I must look CRAZY to everyone around me:)

Anyways, enough with the pity party. I am getting my schedule back and I am REALLY looking forward to it. Even though the last month and a half has been a blur, it has been a HUGE blessing, and God is reminding me of His faithfulness to us and our family. HE is awesome.

You see, if this would have happened to us at any other time up to this point, we would have been....not prepared to say the least. God has blessed me with a good paying job and the ability to pick up more hours, even when it seemed as though there were no hours to get. God has also blessed our finances in making them stretch further than we thought possible. Since we have started our Total Money Makeover, God has really shown Himself to us. We finally started honoring Him in that area of our marriage and lives, and I have imagined, a time or two, Him saying to us, "Can you see NOW the plans I have had for you, the plans to prosper you, the plans I have had all along.... I was just waiting for you to let ME in....I was waiting for you to say 'enough of my way, let's do this God's way'....just know, there is more to come.....".

So instead of getting behind in bills, and picking and choosing what to pay this month, which is what would have happened in the past if one of us was out of work, we have been able to pay above and beyond our monthly bills. We still have an emergency fund, we are still attacking debt, and we are still learning how to let God lead us. I feel beyond blessed:)

I can't tell enough people how freeing this whole money makeover process is. We have started taking the Financial Peace University class too, which is also offered by Dave Ramsey. It is a 13 week course that covers in more detail, the biblical based steps to achieving financial peace and honoring God with you finances. So far, so good:) I highly recommend both of his books to anyone who is tired of being a slave to debt.

I have so much more to fill people in on, but I will save it for a later post. This one got a little longer than I expected.

Oh, and props to Miss for telling me about her Total Money Makeover and recommending the book!!!!! Thanks for the life changing advice!

Prayer Request

2009-01-15T17:01:00.003-06:00

-----UPDATE-----

I am sorry this is so late, but here is the scoop. She went home over the weekend. She IS doing better. High dose of steriods for a while. No more breathing problems. Still having hives. Hoping it is hormone related (since just having a baby) and will just go away when things go back to normal.

Thanks to ALL of you who were praying for her!! She is very thankful and happy to home:)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please pray for my really good friend Amanda. She keeps having some kind of allergic reaction to something and is in the hospital now. They don't know what is causing this. To make things even harder for her, she has a sweet little 3 week old baby at home that needs a healthy mama.

Please storm the gaits of Heaven for a quick recovery for her and her family.

I Just Have To Post This!

2009-01-06T12:43:00.007-06:00

So our dear and wonderful friends Doug and Amanda and their brand new Christmas blessing, Sally Grace, came over after church on Sunday for lunch. So of course there was a LOT of baby holding going on!!! I think that Jaden may be in love!!! He was SO good to her and ever so gentle:) Eli did well with her too, although he was not interested in holding her!

Sally sleeping on Jaden

Jaden giving kisses to the princess

Here is Sally with her mommy:) Cute!

It was SOOO fun having a little baby in the house again, especially a little girl!

My Baby

2008-12-27T08:24:00.002-06:00

Three years ago today I lay in the hospital imagining what he would look like. What he would smell like, sound like, and feel like. If he would have hair or if he would have rolls for me to pinch. Three years ago today I wondered if it was possible to love another babe like I had loved my first. I wondered if I could do it. If I could be a loving mommy to another little boy. If he would steal my heart like his older brother had.

Well, three years ago today, my heart was stolen all over again. A precious little babe, perfect in every way, all 7 pounds 7 ounces and 21 inches of him. I loved him before I ever knew him, but that love exploded on December 27, 2005 at 10:31pm when I held in my arms my handsome adorable Elijah Jake.

And today, three years later, I love him more than I ever have. And I know that one or three or even ten years from now, I will love him, in that very moment, more than I ever have.

I love you baby boy. More than you could possible know. Because you will ALWAYS be My Baby!

Short and Sweet

2008-12-10T15:59:00.002-06:00

it will be......
God is good, really REALLY good. He continues to encourage our Total Money Makeover with blessing after blessing. The kids are good, the hubby is good, I am better now that I have antibiotics in my system:) I haven't posted for a while because I have been SO busy, as usual this time of year! Ken is layed off from construction for a while, but God continues to provide. All is well in the Carlson world:) Except I still have not gotten Christmas cards out yet!!! Maybe you all will have them by New Years! Oh and I finally started writing my anger letter that my counselor assigned me. It feels BEYOND good to vent sometimes:) And I am continuing to read this great book called Trapped In The Mirror which is opening my eyes to some really interesting things.

I guess it isn't exactly short and sweet!

Blessings to everyone:)

This is HUGE!!!

2008-12-03T12:55:00.003-06:00

This is big people. Really really big! You have to go to MCKMAMA's blog and check out this post.

You can also check it out by clicking on the Rebel for A Cause icon on the right column of my blog!

Help the cause and maybe win big while doing it!!!!!

The Truth

2008-12-02T16:02:00.003-06:00

It speaks for itself. You HAVE to watch the WHOLE thing!!!!

Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T09:56:00.002-06:00

As you all may or may not know Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Like tomorrow infact!
So I was thinking of ALL the great things I have to be thankful for:)

Like:
My super hot hard working hubby,
my crazy fun always loud boys,
my quiet soft spoken girl,
my furry smelly never wants to pee outside in the winter dog,
my bigger than I deserve house,
my nicer than I deserve vehicles,
my fun rewarding sometimes crazy job,
my full cupboards fridge and freezer,
my new Total Money Makeover audio CD's that were on sale for 10$!!!!!!!!!
my warm cozy blankets and bed,
my great great super de duper friends,
my really cool Bible with fancy tabs,
my sweeter than I deserve in-laws,
my family,
my money that God blesses me with to pay my bills,
my dirty laundry(cuz that means we have clothes!),
my Compassion Intl sponsored children's artwork and pictures they sent:),
and above ALL ELSE...........

MY TOTALLY AMAZING FORGIVING SOVEREIGN LOVING JUST FAITHFUL GIVING FRIENDLY ALWAYS THERE FOR ME EVEN THOUGH I DON'T DESERVE HIM TO BE........
GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

My Inner Esthetician

2008-11-21T13:15:00.004-06:00

This one is for you Jenni C. my esthetician friend!!!! I am getting intouch with my inner esthetician:) Modeling the Arbonne exfoliating masque with thermal fusion. It's HOT!! Literally!

Yes, SCARY I know! Eli kept running away from me!!! Jaden kept asking if that was my halloween mask! I can only imagine what Ken would have said if he had been home!

Money Makeover Update!!

2008-11-14T11:14:00.002-06:00

I have not updated since starting this Total Money Makeover journey we are on. So far things are going smoothly, for the most part. Thankfully I have always had some what of a budget and tend to be type A with my checkbook and stuff. That really helps when crunching numbers every month! I have started using the envelope system that Dave Ramsey suggests in his book, and I actually really enjoy it. It is true that when you are using cash, you tend to watch much more closely what you are spending it on.

I am excited to start attacking my debt, but I have been hard on myself through the process. I really want to be extreme and start selling stuff and knocking out debt left and right. Ramsey suggests that most people can attack the debt snowball and be done in about 2 years. That just isn't going to happen unless I sell a kid or a kidney on the black market! I would love to be debt free in 2 years, but the only way to make it happen is for me to work full time and then some, and for ken to work full time and then some. While I hate having all this debt, I hate even more the thought of making my kids go through the busyness ALL over again. They already have been through so much with me being in nursing school for 2 years. I just can't bring myself to do that to them again.

So, we wait. We persevere. We endure. We trust that God is seeing us through this. And we have faith that He will bless us unimaginably while we strive to serve Him with our finances.

So we are still going strong, taking one day at a time. I am excited to be on the other side of this and scream, "We are debt freeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"

Dave Ramsey For President!!!!!!!

2008-11-11T14:05:00.003-06:00

Dave Ramsey on Bailout, Personal Responsibility & Socialism

Dave Ramsey Talks About Socialism In America

2008-11-11T13:51:00.001-06:00

Some food for thought on Socialism.

Not Me! Monday

2008-11-10T10:37:00.003-06:00

Horray for Not Me! Monday again:) Check MckMama out and join in the fun.

I was not addicted to MckMama's blog this week. I did not check it at least 12 times a day waiting for new updated photos of little S. Oh I can't get enough of him!!!

I did not start deciding on Christmas pictures already. While deciding what one to go with, I did not contemplate croping myself out of the picture and just having the hubby and children in the "family" photo. I could lie and say I took the picture:) I did not realize how much weight I still need to loose from my last pregnancy, almost 3 years ago!!! Seriously, Not Me!

I did not eat out 2-3 times this weekend, again. Nope not with my tight Total Money Makeover budget. I have no extra money for eating out. Only rice and beans at this house!

I am not typing this with my sunglasses on because I just returned from the eye doctor and can't see or read anything. You know the eye doctor that I ALWAYS see on a yearly basis. Well, seriously though it was my first time to the eye doctor and I am 25!! Bad me, bad!

I did not get fired up about politics this week, nope not I. I did not react like a baby to Obama winning and basically rant and rave for a couple of days about how the world is coming to an end. Nope I am WAY more mature than that.

And I really did not make my husband watch Orgasmic Birth with me one night this week. Weird, why would I make him watch such a silly movie? Not Me! (Oh and he did not enjoy it!)

Overall I did not have a lazy week. Nope, I did lots of things around the house, like keeping the bed warm by laying in it, and keeping the couch warm by laying on it, and keeping myself warm with a blanket. Nope I was NOT lazy at all!

Sneak Peek!

2008-11-08T15:20:00.005-06:00

Here is a sneak peek at this years Christmas cards:)

Coming soon to a mailbox near you:)

*Oh and yes it appears as though Latte is being suffocated, but I assure you she made it through Eli's death grip:)

Dave Ramsey

2008-11-06T14:03:00.002-06:00

This is an article that describes some of my feeling about the obvious move towards socialism our country is taking. I respect Dave Ramsey and I have recently started his Total Money Makeover. He is very knowledgable and passionate about finances and leading people into financial freedom.

Butt Scratching and Bass Fishing
by Dave Ramsey

A couple of weeks ago, I worked late like I sometimes need to do to run my business. It was a nice Tennessee summer evening, and I was enjoying the drive home. About 7:30, as I pulled to a stop light a few blocks from my office, I noticed a light on in the corner office of a friend’s office building. Through the twilight I could make out my friend’s silhouette as he bent over his desk. Being a fellow entrepreneur, I knew what he was doing.

He was pouring over some receivables. Some turkey hadn’t paid him, and he was trying to make his accounts balance so he would have the cash to make it another day. In that instant, I had a flashback to some of the ridiculous statements I’ve been hearing on the talking-head news channels and from some individuals during this political year. And I’ll be honest—I instantly felt the heat of anger flow through my body.

Let me tell you why. You see, my friend who I saw working late—we’ll call him Henry—is a great guy. He’s what you want your son to grow up to be. He loves God, his country, his wife, and his kids. He didn’t have the academic advantage of attending a big-name university. Instead, he started installing heating and air systems as a grunt laborer after he graduated from high school. He was and is a very hard and diligent worker, and before long, the boss taught him the trade. But when he was 24, after 6 years of service, the company he was working for got into financial trouble and laid him off.

Henry still had his tools, so he bought an old pickup to haul around his materials and tools, and suddenly he was in business. He knew about heating and air-conditioning, but not about business, so he made a lot of mistakes.

He persisted. He took accounting and management at the community college to learn about business. He started reading books on business, HVAC, marriage, kids, God, and anything else someone he respected recommended. Today he is one of the best-read men I know. Soon, because of his fabulous service and fair prices, he developed a great reputation, and his little business began to grow.

Henry started 15 years ago, and now he has 17 employees whose families are fed because he does a great job. He is in church on Sunday and seldom misses his kids’ Little League games. Sometimes he has to miss a game because some poor soul has their AC go out in the 96-degree Tennessee summer heat, but Henry makes sure they are served. He is, by all standards, a good man. He is, by all standards, what makes America great.

Henry and I are friends, and so he asked me some financial questions last year. I learned in the process that his personal taxable income last year was $328,000. I smiled with pride for this 70-hour a week guy because he is living the dream.

At the stop light that evening, I also thought of another guy I know—and that is where the anger flash came from. We will call him John. While John does not have the same drive Henry has, I can say that he, too, is a good man.

John also graduated from high school and did not attend a big-name university. He went to work at a local factory 15 years ago. When 5:00pm comes around, John has probably already made it to his car in the parking lot. He comes in 5 minutes late, takes frequent breaks, and leaves 5 minutes early. However, to his credit, he is steady and works hard.

Over the years, due to his steadiness and seniority, he has worked his way up to about $75,000 per year in that same factory. He seldom misses his kid’s ballgames, but most nights you will find him in front of the TV where he has become an expert on “American Idol,” “The Biggest Loser,” and who got thrown off the island. When he is not in front of the TV, he spends a LOT of time and money bass fishing on our local lake. He never works over 40 hours a week and hasn’t read a non-fiction book since high school.

This is America, and there is nothing wrong with either set of choices. Nothing wrong, that is, until the politicians and socialists get involved.

I have seen several elitist people on the talking-head channels make the statement lately that people making over $250,000 per year have a “moral imperative” to pay more in taxes to take care of the country’s problems. This is not only infuriating—it is economically, spiritually, and morally crazy!

Where in the world do these twits get off saying that Henry should be punished for his diligence? If you are John, where do you get off trying to take Henry’s hard-earned money away from him in the name of your misguided “fairness”? If you want to sit on the lake, drink beer, scratch your butt, and bass fish, that is perfectly fine with me. I am not against any of those activities and have engaged in some of them myself at one time or another. But you HAVE NO RIGHT to talk about “moral imperatives” about what other people have earned due to their diligence. That money is not yours! You want some money? Go earn some! Get up, leave the cave, kill something, and drag it home.

We are in a dangerous place in our country today. A segment of our population has decided that it is the government’s job to provide all of their protection, provision, and prosperity. This segment has figured out that government doesn’t have the money to give them everything they want, so somebody else has to pay for it. That is how the “politics of envy” was born. “Tax the rich” has become the mantra of the left, and this political season it has been falsely dubbed a “moral imperative.”

Ninety percent of America’s millionaires are first-generation rich. They are Henry. To tax them because you think it is a “moral imperative” is legalizing governmental theft from our brightest, most charitable, and most productive citizens.

If I can get a law passed that says you must surrender all your cars to the government because it is the “moral imperative” of anyone who owns cars to support the latest governmental program, that would be a violation of private property rights and simply morally wrong. This new “moral imperative” to redistribute wealth is no different from that. It’s the SAME THING!

Please, America, re-think the politics of envy! You are sowing the seeds of our destruction when you punish the Henrys of our culture.

If you think taxing the populace to support government programs is the best way—and I don’t—then at least tax every single person the same! There are very few Henrys out here who would squawk much about paying a set percentage of their income—if everyone else did, too. But this idea of some buttscratching bass fisherman saying government should tax his neighbor and not him—just because his neighbor has succeeded—must stop.

So the next time an elitist media talking-head starts telling you it is the moral imperative of our culture to tax my friend Henry, change the channel.

The next time you see someone wealthy who feels guilty and is preaching the politics of envy, change the channel.

The next time you see some celebrity who feels guilt over their income preaching socialism, change the channel.

And the next time you run into a misguided, butt-scratching bass fisherman who says the evil rich people in our culture should have their private property confiscated because that is fair… well just shake your head walk away—and make sure to vote against his candidate. If he and his type win, God help America.
© The Lampo Group, Inc. all rights reserved.

Response

2008-11-05T19:39:00.004-06:00

I do agree with you Kate, I do need to spend some more time really looking into Obama's plan. Hopefully I will really have time to do some intense research with all of Obamas future plans.

I myself come from a low-middle class home. My dad worked hard to provide for our family of 5. And he was very wise with the money he made but as far as I know we were still just getting by. And I was not trying to imply that low class people are not hard workers, many of them are. I have also had the opportunity to meet many who were not. They enjoyed handouts and felt as long as they were getting that, they had no need to rise above that, to better themselves by using the help as a stepping stone onto something more instead of using it as just simple a handout to keep them where they were at.

As far as low income class being encouraged to help themselves, I myself was able to benefit from the system to help myself and my family. There are times when a person or family needs some help to get back on their feet, I have been one of those families. I firmly believe that the Church should be primarily responsible for this type of help but unfortunately over the past how many years the Church has been failing in this area of ministry.

Anyways, when I was 20 I found myself single, without a place of my own, and a mother of an infant out of wedlock. I was blessed by a church family that assisted me into getting into low income housing. I worked for a local home health agency taking care of people in their homes. I also was going to school, pursuing a degree in nursing. During the first few months of being on my own I received help from the county. It was very appreciated and helpful at the time. After meeting with a few different people from the county they informed me that I would not qualify for any daycare assistance so I could go to school. They felt that it was not important for me to get a degree and have a good paying career in the future. They felt that I should just get a full time job making 7.25 an hour and then I would qualify for daycare assistance. If I would have done what they suggested, chances are I would still be there maybe making 8 dollars an hour now. How is that helping people better themselves? That just keeps people in low class and keeps them receiving assistance for who knows how many years.

Well needless to say I told them they were crazy and that I was not giving up school. So I worked and went to school part time forever it seemed. I had to use student loans to help pay for daycare and living expenses, but I never lost sight on bettering my sons future and my future. I knew I did not want to become one of those people that gets stuck in the well fare system because they wouldn't help you out.

Now here I am 5 years later and thank God everyday that I didn't follow their advice. In the last 5 years I got married, graduated college, became and RN, had another baby, and bought a house. Unfortunately I have a decent amount of student loans that didn't actually pay for school, but that's nothing compared to how things could have ended up for me.

I can only say this for my situation, but, I felt very much like the system wanted to keep me in the system instead of help me to help myself by furthering my education and getting a career that paid more than minimum wage. The system needs help. It should be a short term things to help and encourage people to NOT need it anymore.

The system seemed to make it so easy to just stay there, to never look up, to never reach out to better yourself or your family. And to me that is not at all what it is supposed to do.

And honestly I believe 100% that our government was formed and started to PROTECT the American people and their rights, not to take CARE of them. People need to continue to be responsible for themselves and for their choices and to recognize that the government is not our caretaker.

If you are having sex before marriage, be ready to take care of a baby, possibly on your own. Instead of having an abortion to "fix" the problem. If you were raised in a lower income class family, keep your chin up, go to school, get a degree, make a change for yourself. Don't let people tell you that you have to stay low class. Reach for the stars. If you are at the point in your life where you can't afford insurance, don't have kids yet. Wait a few years until things are a little more established for you instead of using Medical Assistance to pay for all of your births. That money could be used much more efficiently.

At any rate, I feel our system is flawed big time. And I am and was only voicing concern and frustration from my perspective. Knowing what I know from my personal experiences. I just don't feel that it is fair to take money from people that make X amount of money and turn around and give it to people that make Z amount of money or less. It sounds way too much like a socialistic government. I have every right to be concerned knowing that in our future I will slowly start making more money, that I have worked my tail off for, and slowly portions of my money that I have no say over will go to a family, that I personally know, that can't afford groceries for their ever expanding family and live in low income housing but drive a 25,000 dollar vehicle. I should be able to take my money and give it to whom I feel are deserving of it, whether it be friends that are having a hard time or a ministry that supports the poor and homeless in my town or to the local pregnancy resource center that is trying to help prevent abortions.

Some of this may not make complete sense as I am writing when I am very tired. I apologize if that is the case. Again, these are just my feelings and believes. Please don't be offended and please comment respectfully as I have tried to respond respectfully.

Seriously

2008-11-05T14:09:00.003-06:00

I can't even believe I am writing a post on this subject. Politics. YUCK. I am not a very "political" person, but I have an idea of what I feel politics should or should not do for me and my family as American citizens.

As a disclaimer *this post is in no way meant to offend or hurt anyone reading it. Know that what is said are only feelings, thoughts, and opinions from the blog owner, ME. So if I offend you in any way, my deepest apologies, but it's my blog and I have a few things to say. Feel free to comment in an appropriate manner if so lead. Thanks:)*

Now then where was I. Oh yes politics. Even saying the word makes my salivary glands kick in full throttle. I don't like politics or many politicians for that matter. It's unfortunate. But with that being said, I am totally disappointed with last nights elections.

I honestly try to not label myself with one party, but I tend to lean more towards Republican on a lot of topics. So yes, I voted Republican yesterday.

I am slightly concerned for the whole Share the Wealth idea Obama and his administration will have come this January. I am all for assisting lower income families to better THEMSELVES but I cannot support this whole steal from the rich and give to the needy plan.

If low income people are allowed to receive free money from "rich" people (who by the way have worked VERY hard at being wise with their money to become rich) how does that motivate people to get out of the low income class? If I got free money all the time, I would not have much motivation to work my tail off to get to the point that I didn't need free money anymore. Especially knowing that if I made too much money I would then have to give a cut to someone who doesn't make as much as me.

This is CRAZY to me. What happened to the American people that worked hard to make a living and to move up in the pay scale the good old fashioned way?

Seriously!

Not Me! Monday

2008-11-03T09:09:00.004-06:00

What a week it has been. Especially for MckMama!!!!! Go see the good news:)

This week's not me's:

I did not check MckMama's blog like a million times awaiting the news of Stellans birth on Wed. Who has time for that silliness? Not Me!

While not doing these many blog checks I did not eat in bed and accidentally leave crumbs on my hubby's side of the bed. And I especially did not later blame my children for the mess when my hubby found the evidence and got upset. I never use my children like that. Not Me!

I also did not plan on sending MckMama and baby S a little treat while they were in the hospital and then back out thinking that would maybe be a little stalker-ish. After all I am NOT a blogging stalker! Nope Not Me!

While at work this weekend I did not show off MckMama's blog(like we were family or something) and her oh so cute pics of her *MSC and her new babe to some of my fellow nurses. I would not do this because that could also fall into the blogging stalker category. Not Me!

*MSC- Many Small Children

I did not tell everyone and their mother about my Eli saying his first word this week. I would never say unsolicited information about my son to perfect strangers at Wal Mart. That is just weird. Not Me!

And last but not least...I did not use profanity towards the computer while at work this weekend after we went "live" with our electronic medical records system. I would never swear at the computer, especially at work. That is just too unprofessional. I ever so gently tapped the computer while thinking to myself "silly little thing" when it was not doing what it was supposed to do.

How about your not me's??????

Eli Speaks:)

2008-10-29T19:08:00.003-05:00

Here is my baby's first official word. "Ball"

You will have to excuse the close ups of the fly:)

I will NEVER understand

2008-10-29T16:44:00.003-05:00

While reading the local paper today I came across this story. It brought me to tears and made me SO angry. I will never understand how there can be so much evil in this world. And so close to home. I HATE it, I HATE satan and what he does to people. I hate that we live in such a fallen world that this happens ALL the time and leads to so many other horrible things.

However I do love our God. And I know that this angers and hurts HIM more than anyone on this earth. And I do know that the Lord is with this little boy and with the doctors and nurses caring for him. And I pray that this little boy will survive and will grow to know the Lord as I do and that one day he will be a light in a world of darkness.

HUGE News

2008-10-29T12:43:00.003-05:00

He did it. My baby said a word today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eli just started saying "ball" about 15 minutes ago:)

I will post video of it later.

I am beyond ECSTACTIC.

He keeps running around saying "Bow Bow Bow".

It is ADORABLE:)

God is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pray Pray Pray

2008-10-29T08:10:00.003-05:00

Today is the day:) For those of you in the blogging world you may or may not be as nervous, excited, stressed, or happy as I am about MckMama today. Today she will welcome baby Stellan in to the world. The same baby Stellan that doctors told her 13 weeks ago would die and they could do nothing!!

Go check out her blog to read more about it. There is a prayer vigil for her and Stellan ALL day long today.

So Pray Pray Pray with out ceasing for their family.

One of Those Days

2008-10-28T08:36:00.002-05:00

You know it's going to be one of those days when your almost 3 year old SCREAMS the whole way home from grandmas this morning for ALL 15 minutes of the trip including another 5 minute stop at the school to drop off the oldest.

And of course one of those days would happen to fall on a day when I just got off a 12 hour night shift and have no daycare so that I may take a little nap.

Yup, it's One of Those Days

Not Me Monday!!

2008-10-26T20:46:00.003-05:00

Here we go again......join in on the MckMama fun!! I did not write this on Sunday hoping that I would have it done early and be one of the first links on McMama's Mr. Linky list. Nope, I never want to be first at anything. I did not start my very strict Dave Ramsey budget this weekend and still find the cash to eat out not once but twice over the weekend. Who waste's their money on eating out? Not me! I have not been tempted ALL weekend long to just BUY something because being on a budget is slightly painful for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not eat entirely too many doughnuts for breakfast Sunday morning before going to church where I also had a doughnut hole and a cookie. Yum:) I did not let my 2 year old run around the house without a diaper MANY days this week and end up having to clean up at least 2 spots of pee from the floor! Who lets boys be naked ALL day? Not me! I did not pretend to clean the kitchen every time my husband walked up stairs while he and my children cleaned the WHOLE downstairs and the van for 2+ hours on Saturday. I would never be untruthful about cleaning when I was really reading the paper. Who pretends to clean?

Officially OVER!!!

2008-10-26T13:22:00.004-05:00

Yes that's right. Family pictures are officially OVER!!! Thanks to our great friends The Tramms we had a successful family picture day. One more thing to check off my TO DO list for the upcoming holidays.
Normally we just have pics of the kids for our Christmas cards, but I realized that my baby is almost 3 and we have not had a single family picture since his arrival!! Mostly because here I am almost 3 years later trying to lose my pregnancy weight and I have avoided the camera at ALL costs. Well, times are changing, and people are just gonna have to get used to the fat Jazz because losing weight is my least favorite thing to do and I am not good at it. So enjoy your fat Christmas pics this year!!!! Or as my hubby would say Phat Jazz (pretty hot and tempting)!! Yes at least I still have 1 fan, and the most important of all:)
I am hoping that photo shop can be my friend before the final portrait is revealed:)

Surfside Seaplane Base

2008-10-22T11:06:00.002-05:00

This is my Grandma's brother Bruce. I have pictures of me as a baby at surf side with my aunts playing on the rope swing over the water. It is a fun place:)

31 Things

2008-10-22T08:19:00.002-05:00

I found this on BillMissandBrood:)

1. Where is your cell phone? in my purse in the van
2. Where is your significant other? working away in the rain
3. Your hair color? Red with faded blonde high lights
4. Your mother? don't go there
5. Your father? My Hero
6. Your favorite thing? chocolate and time with my hubby (even better if they are together!)
7. Your dream last night? Don't remember
8. Your dream/goal? To be everything God wants me to be to my family
9. The room you're in? Dinning room
10. Your hobby? cleaning???????? j/k lately it's been reading about natural birth
11. Your fear? truthfully I struggle with fear although I know it is NOT from God. My biggest fear is dying before my children are adults.
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Debt free, happy, and content:)
13. Where were you last night? home with my fellas
14. What you’re not? rich!!!!!
15. One of your wish list items? kitchenaide stand up mixer !!!!!!!! -anyone giving one away:)
16. Where you grew up? Forest Lake, MN
17. The last thing you did? Took Jaden to school
18. What are you wearing? Jeans and a tshirt over a long sleeved shirt.
19. Your TV? Being sold or giving it away
20. Your pet? Latte- she is a teacup poodle
21. Your computer? Dell Inspiron 1501
22. Your mood? optimistic about our finances
23. Missing someone? or something? My old house church
24. Your car? Dodge Caravan Sport for now (I think we are selling it and getting something older so we have no car payment!)
25. Something you’re not wearing? a hat
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your summer? too short
28. Love someone? MANY people.
29. Your favorite color? pink, purple, and black
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday at Eli walking around the house ALL day without pants or a diaper. He has a cute butt:)
31. Last time you cried? Monday about how much debt we have:(

Financially FAT!!!!

2008-10-20T15:34:00.003-05:00

OK. I have known it for a while but I have a serious problem with financial DENIAL!!! I have started reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey as a suggestion from this really cool person I know, Miss. Anyways, holy debt Batman!!! I am financially fat and the person I am looking at in the mirror is not looking good!

Ken and I are starting Ramsey's total money makeover and the next few years of our lives are gonna be different people!!! We are going to be learning how to live like no one else so that later we CAN live like no one else:) This is going to be a challenge and hard work and eye opening and did I say hard work?

I am hoping to use my blog as a tool for accountability and also sharing our journey through the whole process. Sorry if I bore you all with our getting out of debts plans, but really my life isn't that exciting.

So we are working on making sure we are current with all of our monthly payments for everything like utilities, mortgages, loans, medical bills, etc.. Everything needs to be current before we can move on to the next step. This will be done by the end of this month.

The next baby step is having a $1000 emergency fund. Well God (you know, the Almighty!) has provided that for us in one lump sum!! He is good, really really good. Imagine my surprise (not God's) when I finally picked up my property tax papers from my aunt, our tax lady, thinking we would maybe get back 300 or so. Nope!!! $1087 to be exact. Holy emergency fund Batman:) So by the end of November hopefully we will have baby step 2 completed and on our way to baby step 3.

Now the hardest part. Step 3, the debt snowball. Yuck! I have always know in the back of my head how much debt we have, but seeing it down on paper from smallest to largest, PAINFUL. I have been working on our debt list, minimum payments, total payoff, interest rates, and all that junk. So when we are ready to start tackling that, we have a plan in place.

The funnest part in all of this is seeing already how God has provided for us. I am looking forward to this journey a) to be debt free and b) to have my relationship with the Lord grow even more:)

So as a disclaimer to family and friends:
If it looks like we have money, we don't! We are like the rest of America and just
pretending. If we start selling a bunch of stuff, we are not crazy. We are just trying to wipe
out our debt fast and furious by making money where we can. If our gifts to you are not as
much as it seems like we could spend on you, just wait 10-15 years and the see the gifts we
will be giving away. Short term pain for long term gain! Thanks for understanding.

I will update further in my journey:)

Not Me! Monday

2008-10-20T08:23:00.002-05:00

It's that time again. Check out MckMama for the rules of the game:)

This week:

I did not have ANOTHER PJ and no shower day. Seriously 2-3 times in one month, gross. What, do I look lazy? Not Me!

I also did not pretend that I was not home on the said pj day when someone came knocking on my door. I am comfortable enough in my pj's to be seen in front of anyone who may stumble to my door. I would NEVER intentionally ignore someone. How rude!

I did not spend way too much time trying to find the answers to MckMama's contest questions the other day, only to not be even close to over half of them! Who has time for that? Not Me!

I did not eat 3 1/2 pieces of french toast this morning. Nope I have a lot more self control with food than that!

I did not totally forget about Not Me! Monday until I was doing my morning blogging about 10 minutes ago. I also did not have a totally uneventful week and forget to keep track of my not me's!!!!

Bedtime Story As Told By Jaden

2008-10-16T18:00:00.004-05:00

So here is another bedtime story as told by Jaden to his mommy the other night.

*Once upon a time there was a Queen and she was really pretty and she was you mommy. And there was 2 prince's and a princess. Eli was a prince and he was Spider Man and I was a prince and I was Indiana Jones and KyLee was the princess and she was Spider Girl. And mommy you were really strong because you had power and could throw things up in the air. Except us because we had power too because I had my whip and Eli had webs and sissy had girl webs............*

You just know any story that starts like that is going to take a while:) Oh he is funny and sweet!!

Fun at The Green Barn

2008-10-15T11:20:00.007-05:00

First stop: The Giant Corn Pit

Next stop: The pumkin toss and local jail

Then on to the Hay Maze:

Then Eli's favorite part of the day: They very looonnnnggg hay ride (he sat like this the WHOLE time staring at the tractor)

And last but not least, The Pumkins:

All in a days work:)

Mommy's Little Chef

2008-10-15T11:08:00.004-05:00

Yes, he helps me bake bread:) Nobody eats his bread, but he helps!

Not Me! Monday

2008-10-13T10:39:00.003-05:00

Tis the season for

Over at MckMama's place!!

This week:

I did not buy a strawberry cheesecake and an apple pie to take to a friends house for dessert the other night. And then I did not strategically FORGET the cheesecake at home and only remember to bring the apple pie with us. It's ironic that we LIKE cheesecake WAY more than apple pie. Silly me, I didn't do that!

I did not let my child eat a piece of the strategically forgotten cheesecake with his breakfast this morning. Nope I NEVER let my children eat dessert at breakfast time. As if!

I did not go to Walmart and pride myself in having the best behaved child there. And then when my child was the one screaming and throwing a fit over some stupid Cars toy, I did not act like he wasn't my child. And I especially didn't give in to the fit and let him take home the silly toy anyway. Nope, I never give in.

I did not go to sleep the other night knowing my husband needed a little something something but I was really tired. And then the next morning when he felt upset I didn't turn it around and blame him for not being persistant enough with me. Who does that? Well, Not me!

I didn't go 40 hours this week without sleep and still manage to drive to the cities with the children in tow. That is really not safe, I would never do that.

Nope, overall I had a really great week of NOT doing things!

Happy Birthday Jack and Eddy

2008-10-08T07:59:00.003-05:00

Two years ago today I was driving on my way down to the cities to see my friends in the hospital. Two years ago yesterday their lives were forever changed. Two years ago their precious baby boys were in the arms of their eternal creator. Two years ago they rested on the bosom of their Heavenly Father.

Please be praying for my friends today as their boys are celebrating with Jesus:)

Not Me! Monday

2008-10-05T08:24:00.003-05:00

It's Not Me! Monday already:) This week flew bye!

Check out MckMama to see the official rules/directions so you can join in on the fun tooooooooooooo:)

I did not get creative this week and make sweet potato fries to go with our dinner one night. And I most certainly did not lie to my children and tell them they were just regular french fries so they would eat them. Who would be dishonest with their children about food? Not Me!

I did not have to take Eli to the doctor to have a foreign object removed from his right nostril. I did not do this because I would not have left him alone downstairs long enough for him to find a very small foreign object that coincedently happened to fit in his right nostril perfectly. Not Me!

I did not have TWO days this week that were dedicated pajama days in my house. Nope, Not Me!

I did not refuse to clean my house ALL day on one of these not dedicated PJ days and then frantically clean 15 minutes before my wonderful hard working husband came home so he didn't think I was a total bum while he was at work. And he did not praise me for keeping such a clean house for him:)

Not me!!!!!!! You?

DQ, Doctor, Stuffed Puppy, Green Peg, Laundry & a Movie- Not In That Order!

2008-09-30T13:36:00.004-05:00

It all started with a movie and laundry. Go figure.

Eli wanted to watch a movie, no biggy right. So I sit with him for a while to watch the movie with him, then I decided "Laundry is piled all around me, maybe I should do something with it". So I start doing MORE laundry while Eli watches his movie.

Well during the movie watching he got a little curious with his sister Lite Brite (you know the little boxy thing with a light and paper and put the colored pegs through the picture and tada a masterpiece). Upon my return to his area of the house I find him sniffling and whining a little and then I noticed his eyes were running.

I asked him what was the matter. He pointed to his nose and then put his finger up his nose and whined some more. I noticed in his other hand he held a Lite Brite peg. *Light Bulb Moment!!!

Did you put a peg in your nose I asked. He nodded yes. Oh great!!

So I busted out the flash light to take a peek and sure enough. A green peg is WAY up my child's nose. I tried getting him to blow it out, he only sucked it in farther. I tried to make him sneeze it out with no luck. So I grabbed the tweezers and tried to pull it out. He actually laid very still until that tweezers was WAY up there and then he moved and well, we got nothing.

I tried everything I could think of. I knew if I had to take him to the doctor it would get ugly. But I had no choice. So off we went to the clinic.

2 hours, 3 fits, 3 attempts, 4 people, 1 blanket, 1 light, 2 medical instruments, and 1 green peg later we made it. Successful removal in the Doctors eyes, traumatizing removal in Elijah's eyes.

Hopefully he learned that nothing should be going up his nose!!!

The Doctor and Nurse were very nice and told Eli he deserved a stuffed animal instead of just a sticker for making it through that ordeal. So off we went with his new black stuffed puppy. We made a pit stop at DQ because we BOTH deserved it:)

All is well now. He is watching the movie he didn't get to finish.

Not Me! Monday

2008-09-29T08:23:00.003-05:00

Here is round two of Not Me! Monday. Go check out Mck Mama who started Not Me! Monday. She is a ton of fun:)

I did not go to a movie called "Orgasmic Birth" and absolutely love it. I did not go because who would watch a movie with that title? Weird, right? Well, Not Me!

I did not take my children to daycare today just so I could take a nap this afternoon before working tonight. Why would I pay for my children to go to daycare if I will be home? Not Me!

I did not let my oldest have 2 peices of gum for breakfast because that is all he wanted. What kind of mom feeds their 5 year old gum for breakfast! Even if it is Orange flavored, that doesn't count....does it???? Well no worries, Not Me!

I did not do a ton of laundry this weekend-clean, dry, fold- and then put in nice piles and in laundry baskets all around the house waiting for the magic laundry fairy to come and put them all away. Nope, Not Me!

I did not feed my family store bought bread the other morning because I forgot to make our weekly bread loaves. Me forget- NO WAY!

I am not sitting on my couch right now looking at all the cleaning that needs to be done and thinking "I may just watch a movie in my Not so quiet house" (becasue the children are not at daycare today). Nope, cleaning ALWAYS comes first in our house!

Not Me! Not Me!.......YOU?

Here Comes Another Birth Activist

2008-09-26T13:21:00.002-05:00

Here is the post I promised in regards to the movie I went to see last night.

A neighbor/friend invited me to go with her to this amazing birth film called "Orgasmic Birth" directed by Debra Pascali-Bonaro, downtown at the Riverside Theater as part of a special showing that was put together by different birth activist groups in the MN area. Some of these organizations included ICAN of the Twin Cities, Spinning Babies, Ten Moons Rising, Everyday Miracles, The Childbirth Collective, and DONA International.

To say it bluntly...Orgasmic Birth was UNBELIEVABLE! It was the most amazing movie I have watched in a LONG time. It had me laughing, it had me crying my eyes out, it had me happy, and it had me angry/frustrated. I signed my name up on the list to buy a copy for myself so I can show it to other people.

I know the title freaks most people out. Originally the director wanted to name it Ecstatic Birth but Orgasmic Birth got peoples attention more so that is what they went with.

Before jumping to conclusions about the film or about how you may think I am going crazy, hear me out!

I want to be a doula and eventually a midwife. I want to be able to give women the opportunity to have their babies the way THEY want to have them, not the way our MEDICAL SYSTEM tells them to have them. America is SOOO behind when it comes to supporting laboring moms and trusting them to make their own health care decisions when it comes to the birth of their child. Last time I checked Labor and Birth were NOT an illness, or a disease process, or some crazy medical condition.

GOD himself intended for this to happen from the very begining. He CREATED the whole birth process, from the pleasure of conception to the bliss from holding your babe in your arms. HE knew exactly what HE was doing. Of course after the fall, woman was cursed with laboring pains but she was NOT cursed with a "birth plague"!! She wasn't cursed to have an illness during pregnancy and birth. So why is it often treated that way in Western Medicine?

This film did an amazing job of showing the possibilities of what can happen when a woman is
1) allowed to CHOOSE how and where to have her baby
2) supported by other woman during labor
3) and taught that birth CAN and SHOULD be an enjoyable defining moment of their lives
4) not told horror story after horror story of how aweful labor is
5) and taught to TRUST in her body, because it knows exactly what to do

What if women were taught to ENJOY birth? What if it could be a sensual, pleasureable experience for a husband and wife to experience together. Afterall, the act of making a baby is sensual and pleasurable so why should we be taught that the act of delivering the baby should be strictly painful and an aweful experience? Why can't that be a pleasurable experience?

Well it can be, and the movie is proof!!

I think Westernized Medicine better watch out...here comes another birth activist!!!!!!!!!!

To Be Continued..........................................

and please give me feedback, ask questions, and give your input too. The whole topic of preg and birth is a passion of mine and I would love to talk to others about it.

Better Week......Florecent Pee?

2008-09-25T15:43:00.004-05:00

This week has been better than last. I havn't been as emotional about Eli and his speech delay. What a wreck I was last week, you would have thought someone died or something. Thank goodness that wasn't the case. And thank goodness for all my wonderful friends and my fantastic husband for listening to me cry about everything! And thank you to my wonderful friends for remindind me that my child is NOT defective, and that I did NOT make him so I should have NO guilt about his speech delay, and to rest assured in my FAITH and my TRUST in God because HE made Eli to HIS liking:) And HE knows what HE is doing:)

On a lighter note. This week has been fun hanging out with the kids, the neighbors, and Ken. I love fellowship with others and I get so much energy from other people. It has been a very enjoyable week. Other than I am on the verge of getting something because I have a headache daily for almost a week now. I think it's a head cold that hasn't totally landed yet but I am fighting it tooth and nail with lots of Vit. C*, fluids, echinacea, and rest when I can get it.

*By the way, did you know that excess Vit C (you know the stuff your body doesn't need) is excreted in your urine and it turns it FLORECENT YELLOW!! Imagine my surprise after going to bathroom at the end of the day after consuming 2000 mg of Vit C!!!! Yikes!

And tonight I am going out. That's right people I have a social life too!! I am going with my neighbor and her newborn to what will hopefully be an amazing movie downtown. We are going to watch Minnesota Orgasmic Birth. It sounds strange I know, but I will tell you much more about it after I see the whole thing. I am very excited about this opportunity:) Go check out the website and read more about it before allowing yourself to be turned off to the title.

I will let you all know what I think of the film:)

NOT ME! Monday

2008-09-22T00:53:00.007-05:00

Here is a MckMama and her Not Me! Monday Carnival. Check it out!

Here goes.......

I most definitely did not cry while unpacking size 3T clothes for Eli that Jaden used to wear. Thinking about how tiny my now kindergartner used to be. Nope. NOT ME!

And I certainly didn't cry even harder when I was packing up size 2T clothes that don't fit either one of them to give away. NOT ME! What am I in denial about my children getting older? NO way, NOT ME!!!

By the way, I didn't sleep ALL afternoon on Saturday and ALL Saturday night and then roll out of bed at 8:30 on Sunday morning and still feel tired. Again, NOT ME!

I absolutely am not writing this post while at work where this is most likely prohibited. You guessed it....NOT ME!

NOT ME, NOT ME, NOT ME!!!!!!

YOU????

A Mommy to Boys <3

2008-09-21T13:32:00.003-05:00

So last night it was just Jaden and I home for the whole night. He decided he wanted to sleep with me since he is my cuddle bug. As we were going to bed he thought it would be a great idea to tell bed time stories.

So he started with this amazing fairytale story about a princess being locked in a castle and this giant dragon who was guarding her. He continued on about hot lava and swords and all sorts of scary things. Then you'll never guess who came to rescue the princess? Yup, Indiana Jones!! Indiana came and slayed the dragon with his sword and his "really cool whip". Then he used the whip to swing over the hot lava and rescue the princess.

It was a very animated story with lots of sound effects and unbelievalbe facial expressions. Then when it was all over the princess was saved and Indiana moved on to rescue another princess.

Then Jaden turned to me and said "You know what mom?"
I said "what?"
he said, "In that story, I was Indiana Jones!! And guess who the princess was"
I said, "I don't know" (thinking probably his sister or the neighbor girl)
he said, "The princess was YOU mom. I rescued you!"

MELT my heart!!!!!! He is so dang adorable!!!!! I just love him to pieces!

I LOVE being a mom to boys. It does things to your heart you never knew were possible<3

Soak It Up:)

2008-09-18T12:59:00.003-05:00

Long time no blog! It has been a crazy month so far. A lot has been going on and keeping us busy, and away from the computer! So I apologize in advance for a potentially LONG post. Grab a cup of coffee and maybe a snack...and soak it up:)

So school has officially started and Jaden is enjoying it. I on the other hand am still a little emotional about the whole thing. On his first day of school he was very happy to go but a little sad by the time I got there to pick him up at the end of the day. Our conversations went something like this...

J- "Mom, I was at school for the WHOLE day!! I didn't know I had to go for the WHOLE day!"

Me- "Well we talked about this before you went to school. That you would be there for the WHOLE day"

J- "Well, I think I want to have school at home so I don't have to be gone for the WHOLE day"

Me- (holding back the tears) " I would love you to have school at home but we talked about this over the summer and we both decided you should try kindergarten first and then if it didn't work out mommy could homeschool you next year."

J- "Ok mom. But next time, I am not going to school for the WHOLE day!"

Me- "We'll see"

By the end of the week he didn't even notice that he was there the WHOLE day. He was very tired though. He was getting at least 11-12 hours a night and he still couldn't get enough. We are almost done with week 2 already and things are going well. I asked him the other day if he was making any friends at school...

his reply- "yeah, (so and so, and so and so) are my new friends"

me- "good, have you made any friends with any of the girls in your class?"

him- "Well, there was this one girl, I don't remember her name, but I played husband and wife with her and we had 1 kid that was a girl...oh, and I was an Indiana Jones husband!

Me- "Oh, sounds.....interesting!" (laughing just thinking about this poor girl trying to play house with my son who is an "Indiana Jones Husband" whatever that entails!!!)

So yes school is great for him, and still hard for me. I am sure it's because he is my oldest. Things will get better:)

In other news.. We are done with ALL of Eli's assessments and meetings. Basically he qualifies for speech/language help. He did great with everything else. So he starts having a lady come out once a week to work with him. This will happen until he is 3 and then he won't qualify for home visits anymore, but he will see someone at the preschool instead. This whole process for me has been very overwhelming and emotionally draining.

I know he has no "disability" he just has delayed speech, which is very fixable. I am glad for that. But they catagorize speech therapy under Special Education. So when the ladies started talking about him in Special Ed and how the other kids won't even know that he is in it, I totally lost it and starting bawling like a baby. I still cry when I think about it. I don't want that to be him! He isn't developmentally delayed, he just doesn't talk like most 2 almost 3 year olds do.

He is so precious and perfect in my eyes and I want everyone to see that about him. I wish I could put into words how feel about this whole thing but I just am unable to at this point. I am so full of all these emotions and fears and just trying so hard to give it to GOD and it is so difficult. I know God is really teaching me a lot through this process but I wish it wasn't so painful and so personal. I can't help but have all these feelings of guilt and responsibility for Eli not talking and I know these are lies from the enemy but they are so easy to believe and that sucks!

Thank goodness Ken is so positive about all this. Not that I have no hope, but I am an emotional wreck and I am thankful that he is there for me and Eli with encouraging and uplifting words. I know God is doing amazing things and will continue to do amazing things. I have faith in that, but it doesn't take away the hurt.

So basically all of that mixed with my oldest going to school has made for a very very emotional September!!!

Ken and I would feel so blessed if you all were praying for Eli and his speech therapy. Just that it goes well and that he makes progress. Thanks a ton:) And maybe pray for a little peace on my end of things!

Crazy Weekend

2008-09-05T21:40:00.002-05:00

Well it's gonna be a crazy weekend, only because I work. So I am posting pics of Jaden at school SOON, very soon. I finally transfered them to a disc and off the camara tonight.

I hope everyone has an AWSOME weekend:) I know I will!! I love working, and being home.....I get the best of both worlds....and who says you can't have it ALL. :)

Clarity...please!

2008-09-03T21:11:00.004-05:00

UPDATE: The decision has been made...and it was the right one. Thanks God for showing the way.....again:)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken and I have a few difficult decisions we need to make. We are talking a lot about it together and seeking God for answers. We would also like to ask you wonderful readers to be praying for us. Pray for decernment and clarity, and please pray that we will hear God in this situation and that we will be able to stand firm in his promise for our lives. And also pray that satan has NO ground and/or input in this decision.

Thank you VERY much.

The Big Day

2008-09-02T16:09:00.003-05:00

Today was the big day. The first day of kindergarten. I cried...a little. My baby is getting so big. He was totally like, see ya later ma!!
I hope I am doing the right thing. I feel uneasy about sending him to public school. Part of me feels like this is what is right for our family at the present time, but there is another part of me feeling like I should be teaching him from the comfort of home.
It is such a hard decission to make. It didn't help that the whole time I was there during the "Parent Orientation", I couldn't have disagreed more with what they were telling me. There is this HUGE push for how important teaching independance is at this age and everything was SO focused on INDEPENDENCE!! He is 5!!! And not to mention that they "Request" that you not eat lunch with your child on a school day until Novemeber because of the "Seperation" issues it can cause! What!!
Oh, and it would be great if you wanted to volunteer, but you can't do it in YOUR childs class. They feel that in Kindergarten it would be detrimental to their "Independence" and learning "Seperation" if their parents were in their class room for anything during the day. STUPID!!!

I guess I need to talk to God about this one. And maybe have a talk with some people from the school about how THEY(The educated professionals) know what is best for my child, and I DON"T(the MOM)!

p.s. I'll post videos or pics of the big day later.

Baking, baking, baking

2008-08-31T17:52:00.002-05:00

Today has been full of baking, baking, baking!! Banana bread, zuccini bread, whole wheat bread, black bean soup, pesto, veggie salad, and freezable french toast! I am messy, my kitchen is messy, and our tummys are full. It's been a fun day. I love weekends off:)

Last Weekend of Summer

2008-08-30T13:32:00.002-05:00

Well today is a wonderful day. It started with an early morning trip to the local farmers market for some lovely fresh produce. Followed by 2 trips to the local Co-op for groceries and baking supplies. Now my little one and my big one(the hubby) are napping and the other two are out playing with the neighbor girl, while I sit here on the computer looking up recipes and getting ready to go to the store again for more food for our BBQ with the neighbors tonight. We are going to have a nice relaxing weekend full of food, fun, friends, and family. I love it!! Especially since it is the last weekend of summer vacation!

God always amazes me! He just knew that we needed a weekend like this!

God is good, ALL the time !
ALL the time, God is good:)

Crabby and Fat

2008-08-28T09:22:00.002-05:00

I feel like a big fat moo-moo. You know, I lost all my pregnancy weight after Jaden and I still have 15-20 lbs of pregnancy weight from Eli to lose! And he is almost 3. What the heck! I am still young enough that I shouldn't have that much of a problem losing weight, but what gives! I am crabby. Crabby and fat. Yuck!

It's just one of those days! Trying to find something nice to wear to Kens grandmas wake and funeral, and nothing fits like it should. At least for the most part it's all black, which is supposed to help cover the fatness. It doesn't seem to be working much for me though. Whatever!!!

I wish I had a black full length Nun outfit!!!!