Soak It Up:)

Long time no blog! It has been a crazy month so far. A lot has been going on and keeping us busy, and away from the computer! So I apologize in advance for a potentially LONG post. Grab a cup of coffee and maybe a snack...and soak it up:)

So school has officially started and Jaden is enjoying it. I on the other hand am still a little emotional about the whole thing. On his first day of school he was very happy to go but a little sad by the time I got there to pick him up at the end of the day. Our conversations went something like this...

J- "Mom, I was at school for the WHOLE day!! I didn't know I had to go for the WHOLE day!"

Me- "Well we talked about this before you went to school. That you would be there for the WHOLE day"

J- "Well, I think I want to have school at home so I don't have to be gone for the WHOLE day"

Me- (holding back the tears) " I would love you to have school at home but we talked about this over the summer and we both decided you should try kindergarten first and then if it didn't work out mommy could homeschool you next year."

J- "Ok mom. But next time, I am not going to school for the WHOLE day!"

Me- "We'll see"

By the end of the week he didn't even notice that he was there the WHOLE day. He was very tired though. He was getting at least 11-12 hours a night and he still couldn't get enough. We are almost done with week 2 already and things are going well. I asked him the other day if he was making any friends at school...

his reply- "yeah, (so and so, and so and so) are my new friends"

me- "good, have you made any friends with any of the girls in your class?"

him- "Well, there was this one girl, I don't remember her name, but I played husband and wife with her and we had 1 kid that was a girl...oh, and I was an Indiana Jones husband!

Me- "Oh, sounds.....interesting!" (laughing just thinking about this poor girl trying to play house with my son who is an "Indiana Jones Husband" whatever that entails!!!)

So yes school is great for him, and still hard for me. I am sure it's because he is my oldest. Things will get better:)

In other news.. We are done with ALL of Eli's assessments and meetings. Basically he qualifies for speech/language help. He did great with everything else. So he starts having a lady come out once a week to work with him. This will happen until he is 3 and then he won't qualify for home visits anymore, but he will see someone at the preschool instead. This whole process for me has been very overwhelming and emotionally draining.

I know he has no "disability" he just has delayed speech, which is very fixable. I am glad for that. But they catagorize speech therapy under Special Education. So when the ladies started talking about him in Special Ed and how the other kids won't even know that he is in it, I totally lost it and starting bawling like a baby. I still cry when I think about it. I don't want that to be him! He isn't developmentally delayed, he just doesn't talk like most 2 almost 3 year olds do.

He is so precious and perfect in my eyes and I want everyone to see that about him. I wish I could put into words how feel about this whole thing but I just am unable to at this point. I am so full of all these emotions and fears and just trying so hard to give it to GOD and it is so difficult. I know God is really teaching me a lot through this process but I wish it wasn't so painful and so personal. I can't help but have all these feelings of guilt and responsibility for Eli not talking and I know these are lies from the enemy but they are so easy to believe and that sucks!

Thank goodness Ken is so positive about all this. Not that I have no hope, but I am an emotional wreck and I am thankful that he is there for me and Eli with encouraging and uplifting words. I know God is doing amazing things and will continue to do amazing things. I have faith in that, but it doesn't take away the hurt.

So basically all of that mixed with my oldest going to school has made for a very very emotional September!!!

Ken and I would feel so blessed if you all were praying for Eli and his speech therapy. Just that it goes well and that he makes progress. Thanks a ton:) And maybe pray for a little peace on my end of things!