Saturday, December 27, 2008

My Baby

Three years ago today I lay in the hospital imagining what he would look like. What he would smell like, sound like, and feel like. If he would have hair or if he would have rolls for me to pinch. Three years ago today I wondered if it was possible to love another babe like I had loved my first. I wondered if I could do it. If I could be a loving mommy to another little boy. If he would steal my heart like his older brother had.

Well, three years ago today, my heart was stolen all over again. A precious little babe, perfect in every way, all 7 pounds 7 ounces and 21 inches of him. I loved him before I ever knew him, but that love exploded on December 27, 2005 at 10:31pm when I held in my arms my handsome adorable Elijah Jake.

And today, three years later, I love him more than I ever have. And I know that one or three or even ten years from now, I will love him, in that very moment, more than I ever have.

I love you baby boy. More than you could possible know. Because you will ALWAYS be My Baby!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Short and Sweet

it will be......
God is good, really REALLY good. He continues to encourage our Total Money Makeover with blessing after blessing. The kids are good, the hubby is good, I am better now that I have antibiotics in my system:) I haven't posted for a while because I have been SO busy, as usual this time of year! Ken is layed off from construction for a while, but God continues to provide. All is well in the Carlson world:) Except I still have not gotten Christmas cards out yet!!! Maybe you all will have them by New Years! Oh and I finally started writing my anger letter that my counselor assigned me. It feels BEYOND good to vent sometimes:) And I am continuing to read this great book called Trapped In The Mirror which is opening my eyes to some really interesting things.

I guess it isn't exactly short and sweet!

Blessings to everyone:)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

This is HUGE!!!

This is big people. Really really big! You have to go to MCKMAMA's blog and check out this post.

You can also check it out by clicking on the Rebel for A Cause icon on the right column of my blog!

Help the cause and maybe win big while doing it!!!!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Truth


It speaks for itself. You HAVE to watch the WHOLE thing!!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving

As you all may or may not know Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Like tomorrow infact!
So I was thinking of ALL the great things I have to be thankful for:)

Like:
My super hot hard working hubby,
my crazy fun always loud boys,
my quiet soft spoken girl,
my furry smelly never wants to pee outside in the winter dog,
my bigger than I deserve house,
my nicer than I deserve vehicles,
my fun rewarding sometimes crazy job,
my full cupboards fridge and freezer,
my new Total Money Makeover audio CD's that were on sale for 10$!!!!!!!!!
my warm cozy blankets and bed,
my great great super de duper friends,
my really cool Bible with fancy tabs,
my sweeter than I deserve in-laws,
my family,
my money that God blesses me with to pay my bills,
my dirty laundry(cuz that means we have clothes!),
my Compassion Intl sponsored children's artwork and pictures they sent:),
and above ALL ELSE...........

MY TOTALLY AMAZING FORGIVING SOVEREIGN LOVING JUST FAITHFUL GIVING FRIENDLY ALWAYS THERE FOR ME EVEN THOUGH I DON'T DESERVE HIM TO BE........
GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

My Inner Esthetician

This one is for you Jenni C. my esthetician friend!!!! I am getting intouch with my inner esthetician:) Modeling the Arbonne exfoliating masque with thermal fusion. It's HOT!! Literally!




Yes, SCARY I know! Eli kept running away from me!!! Jaden kept asking if that was my halloween mask! I can only imagine what Ken would have said if he had been home!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Money Makeover Update!!

I have not updated since starting this Total Money Makeover journey we are on. So far things are going smoothly, for the most part. Thankfully I have always had some what of a budget and tend to be type A with my checkbook and stuff. That really helps when crunching numbers every month! I have started using the envelope system that Dave Ramsey suggests in his book, and I actually really enjoy it. It is true that when you are using cash, you tend to watch much more closely what you are spending it on.

I am excited to start attacking my debt, but I have been hard on myself through the process. I really want to be extreme and start selling stuff and knocking out debt left and right. Ramsey suggests that most people can attack the debt snowball and be done in about 2 years. That just isn't going to happen unless I sell a kid or a kidney on the black market! I would love to be debt free in 2 years, but the only way to make it happen is for me to work full time and then some, and for ken to work full time and then some. While I hate having all this debt, I hate even more the thought of making my kids go through the busyness ALL over again. They already have been through so much with me being in nursing school for 2 years. I just can't bring myself to do that to them again.

So, we wait. We persevere. We endure. We trust that God is seeing us through this. And we have faith that He will bless us unimaginably while we strive to serve Him with our finances.

So we are still going strong, taking one day at a time. I am excited to be on the other side of this and scream, "We are debt freeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dave Ramsey For President!!!!!!!

Dave Ramsey on Bailout, Personal Responsibility & Socialism





Dave Ramsey Talks About Socialism In America

Some food for thought on Socialism.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Not Me! Monday


Horray for Not Me! Monday again:) Check MckMama out and join in the fun.

I was not addicted to MckMama's blog this week. I did not check it at least 12 times a day waiting for new updated photos of little S. Oh I can't get enough of him!!!

I did not start deciding on Christmas pictures already. While deciding what one to go with, I did not contemplate croping myself out of the picture and just having the hubby and children in the "family" photo. I could lie and say I took the picture:) I did not realize how much weight I still need to loose from my last pregnancy, almost 3 years ago!!! Seriously, Not Me!

I did not eat out 2-3 times this weekend, again. Nope not with my tight Total Money Makeover budget. I have no extra money for eating out. Only rice and beans at this house!

I am not typing this with my sunglasses on because I just returned from the eye doctor and can't see or read anything. You know the eye doctor that I ALWAYS see on a yearly basis. Well, seriously though it was my first time to the eye doctor and I am 25!! Bad me, bad!

I did not get fired up about politics this week, nope not I. I did not react like a baby to Obama winning and basically rant and rave for a couple of days about how the world is coming to an end. Nope I am WAY more mature than that.

And I really did not make my husband watch Orgasmic Birth with me one night this week. Weird, why would I make him watch such a silly movie? Not Me! (Oh and he did not enjoy it!)

Overall I did not have a lazy week. Nope, I did lots of things around the house, like keeping the bed warm by laying in it, and keeping the couch warm by laying on it, and keeping myself warm with a blanket. Nope I was NOT lazy at all!


Saturday, November 8, 2008

Sneak Peek!

Here is a sneak peek at this years Christmas cards:)
Coming soon to a mailbox near you:)
*Oh and yes it appears as though Latte is being suffocated, but I assure you she made it through Eli's death grip:)


Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dave Ramsey

This is an article that describes some of my feeling about the obvious move towards socialism our country is taking. I respect Dave Ramsey and I have recently started his Total Money Makeover. He is very knowledgable and passionate about finances and leading people into financial freedom.


Butt Scratching and Bass Fishing
by Dave Ramsey


A couple of weeks ago, I worked late like I sometimes need to do to run my business. It was a nice Tennessee summer evening, and I was enjoying the drive home. About 7:30, as I pulled to a stop light a few blocks from my office, I noticed a light on in the corner office of a friend’s office building. Through the twilight I could make out my friend’s silhouette as he bent over his desk. Being a fellow entrepreneur, I knew what he was doing.

He was pouring over some receivables. Some turkey hadn’t paid him, and he was trying to make his accounts balance so he would have the cash to make it another day. In that instant, I had a flashback to some of the ridiculous statements I’ve been hearing on the talking-head news channels and from some individuals during this political year. And I’ll be honest—I instantly felt the heat of anger flow through my body.

Let me tell you why. You see, my friend who I saw working late—we’ll call him Henry—is a great guy. He’s what you want your son to grow up to be. He loves God, his country, his wife, and his kids. He didn’t have the academic advantage of attending a big-name university. Instead, he started installing heating and air systems as a grunt laborer after he graduated from high school. He was and is a very hard and diligent worker, and before long, the boss taught him the trade. But when he was 24, after 6 years of service, the company he was working for got into financial trouble and laid him off.

Henry still had his tools, so he bought an old pickup to haul around his materials and tools, and suddenly he was in business. He knew about heating and air-conditioning, but not about business, so he made a lot of mistakes.

He persisted. He took accounting and management at the community college to learn about business. He started reading books on business, HVAC, marriage, kids, God, and anything else someone he respected recommended. Today he is one of the best-read men I know. Soon, because of his fabulous service and fair prices, he developed a great reputation, and his little business began to grow.

Henry started 15 years ago, and now he has 17 employees whose families are fed because he does a great job. He is in church on Sunday and seldom misses his kids’ Little League games. Sometimes he has to miss a game because some poor soul has their AC go out in the 96-degree Tennessee summer heat, but Henry makes sure they are served. He is, by all standards, a good man. He is, by all standards, what makes America great.

Henry and I are friends, and so he asked me some financial questions last year. I learned in the process that his personal taxable income last year was $328,000. I smiled with pride for this 70-hour a week guy because he is living the dream.

At the stop light that evening, I also thought of another guy I know—and that is where the anger flash came from. We will call him John. While John does not have the same drive Henry has, I can say that he, too, is a good man.

John also graduated from high school and did not attend a big-name university. He went to work at a local factory 15 years ago. When 5:00pm comes around, John has probably already made it to his car in the parking lot. He comes in 5 minutes late, takes frequent breaks, and leaves 5 minutes early. However, to his credit, he is steady and works hard.

Over the years, due to his steadiness and seniority, he has worked his way up to about $75,000 per year in that same factory. He seldom misses his kid’s ballgames, but most nights you will find him in front of the TV where he has become an expert on “American Idol,” “The Biggest Loser,” and who got thrown off the island. When he is not in front of the TV, he spends a LOT of time and money bass fishing on our local lake. He never works over 40 hours a week and hasn’t read a non-fiction book since high school.

This is America, and there is nothing wrong with either set of choices. Nothing wrong, that is, until the politicians and socialists get involved.

I have seen several elitist people on the talking-head channels make the statement lately that people making over $250,000 per year have a “moral imperative” to pay more in taxes to take care of the country’s problems. This is not only infuriating—it is economically, spiritually, and morally crazy!

Where in the world do these twits get off saying that Henry should be punished for his diligence? If you are John, where do you get off trying to take Henry’s hard-earned money away from him in the name of your misguided “fairness”? If you want to sit on the lake, drink beer, scratch your butt, and bass fish, that is perfectly fine with me. I am not against any of those activities and have engaged in some of them myself at one time or another. But you HAVE NO RIGHT to talk about “moral imperatives” about what other people have earned due to their diligence. That money is not yours! You want some money? Go earn some! Get up, leave the cave, kill something, and drag it home.

We are in a dangerous place in our country today. A segment of our population has decided that it is the government’s job to provide all of their protection, provision, and prosperity. This segment has figured out that government doesn’t have the money to give them everything they want, so somebody else has to pay for it. That is how the “politics of envy” was born. “Tax the rich” has become the mantra of the left, and this political season it has been falsely dubbed a “moral imperative.”

Ninety percent of America’s millionaires are first-generation rich. They are Henry. To tax them because you think it is a “moral imperative” is legalizing governmental theft from our brightest, most charitable, and most productive citizens.

If I can get a law passed that says you must surrender all your cars to the government because it is the “moral imperative” of anyone who owns cars to support the latest governmental program, that would be a violation of private property rights and simply morally wrong. This new “moral imperative” to redistribute wealth is no different from that. It’s the SAME THING!

Please, America, re-think the politics of envy! You are sowing the seeds of our destruction when you punish the Henrys of our culture.

If you think taxing the populace to support government programs is the best way—and I don’t—then at least tax every single person the same! There are very few Henrys out here who would squawk much about paying a set percentage of their income—if everyone else did, too. But this idea of some buttscratching bass fisherman saying government should tax his neighbor and not him—just because his neighbor has succeeded—must stop.

So the next time an elitist media talking-head starts telling you it is the moral imperative of our culture to tax my friend Henry, change the channel.

The next time you see someone wealthy who feels guilty and is preaching the politics of envy, change the channel.

The next time you see some celebrity who feels guilt over their income preaching socialism, change the channel.

And the next time you run into a misguided, butt-scratching bass fisherman who says the evil rich people in our culture should have their private property confiscated because that is fair… well just shake your head walk away—and make sure to vote against his candidate. If he and his type win, God help America.
© The Lampo Group, Inc. all rights reserved.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Response

I do agree with you Kate, I do need to spend some more time really looking into Obama's plan. Hopefully I will really have time to do some intense research with all of Obamas future plans.

I myself come from a low-middle class home. My dad worked hard to provide for our family of 5. And he was very wise with the money he made but as far as I know we were still just getting by. And I was not trying to imply that low class people are not hard workers, many of them are. I have also had the opportunity to meet many who were not. They enjoyed handouts and felt as long as they were getting that, they had no need to rise above that, to better themselves by using the help as a stepping stone onto something more instead of using it as just simple a handout to keep them where they were at.

As far as low income class being encouraged to help themselves, I myself was able to benefit from the system to help myself and my family. There are times when a person or family needs some help to get back on their feet, I have been one of those families. I firmly believe that the Church should be primarily responsible for this type of help but unfortunately over the past how many years the Church has been failing in this area of ministry.

Anyways, when I was 20 I found myself single, without a place of my own, and a mother of an infant out of wedlock. I was blessed by a church family that assisted me into getting into low income housing. I worked for a local home health agency taking care of people in their homes. I also was going to school, pursuing a degree in nursing. During the first few months of being on my own I received help from the county. It was very appreciated and helpful at the time. After meeting with a few different people from the county they informed me that I would not qualify for any daycare assistance so I could go to school. They felt that it was not important for me to get a degree and have a good paying career in the future. They felt that I should just get a full time job making 7.25 an hour and then I would qualify for daycare assistance. If I would have done what they suggested, chances are I would still be there maybe making 8 dollars an hour now. How is that helping people better themselves? That just keeps people in low class and keeps them receiving assistance for who knows how many years.

Well needless to say I told them they were crazy and that I was not giving up school. So I worked and went to school part time forever it seemed. I had to use student loans to help pay for daycare and living expenses, but I never lost sight on bettering my sons future and my future. I knew I did not want to become one of those people that gets stuck in the well fare system because they wouldn't help you out.

Now here I am 5 years later and thank God everyday that I didn't follow their advice. In the last 5 years I got married, graduated college, became and RN, had another baby, and bought a house. Unfortunately I have a decent amount of student loans that didn't actually pay for school, but that's nothing compared to how things could have ended up for me.

I can only say this for my situation, but, I felt very much like the system wanted to keep me in the system instead of help me to help myself by furthering my education and getting a career that paid more than minimum wage. The system needs help. It should be a short term things to help and encourage people to NOT need it anymore.

The system seemed to make it so easy to just stay there, to never look up, to never reach out to better yourself or your family. And to me that is not at all what it is supposed to do.

And honestly I believe 100% that our government was formed and started to PROTECT the American people and their rights, not to take CARE of them. People need to continue to be responsible for themselves and for their choices and to recognize that the government is not our caretaker.

If you are having sex before marriage, be ready to take care of a baby, possibly on your own. Instead of having an abortion to "fix" the problem. If you were raised in a lower income class family, keep your chin up, go to school, get a degree, make a change for yourself. Don't let people tell you that you have to stay low class. Reach for the stars. If you are at the point in your life where you can't afford insurance, don't have kids yet. Wait a few years until things are a little more established for you instead of using Medical Assistance to pay for all of your births. That money could be used much more efficiently.

At any rate, I feel our system is flawed big time. And I am and was only voicing concern and frustration from my perspective. Knowing what I know from my personal experiences. I just don't feel that it is fair to take money from people that make X amount of money and turn around and give it to people that make Z amount of money or less. It sounds way too much like a socialistic government. I have every right to be concerned knowing that in our future I will slowly start making more money, that I have worked my tail off for, and slowly portions of my money that I have no say over will go to a family, that I personally know, that can't afford groceries for their ever expanding family and live in low income housing but drive a 25,000 dollar vehicle. I should be able to take my money and give it to whom I feel are deserving of it, whether it be friends that are having a hard time or a ministry that supports the poor and homeless in my town or to the local pregnancy resource center that is trying to help prevent abortions.

Some of this may not make complete sense as I am writing when I am very tired. I apologize if that is the case. Again, these are just my feelings and believes. Please don't be offended and please comment respectfully as I have tried to respond respectfully.

Seriously

I can't even believe I am writing a post on this subject. Politics. YUCK. I am not a very "political" person, but I have an idea of what I feel politics should or should not do for me and my family as American citizens.

As a disclaimer *this post is in no way meant to offend or hurt anyone reading it. Know that what is said are only feelings, thoughts, and opinions from the blog owner, ME. So if I offend you in any way, my deepest apologies, but it's my blog and I have a few things to say. Feel free to comment in an appropriate manner if so lead. Thanks:)*

Now then where was I. Oh yes politics. Even saying the word makes my salivary glands kick in full throttle. I don't like politics or many politicians for that matter. It's unfortunate. But with that being said, I am totally disappointed with last nights elections.

I honestly try to not label myself with one party, but I tend to lean more towards Republican on a lot of topics. So yes, I voted Republican yesterday.

I am slightly concerned for the whole Share the Wealth idea Obama and his administration will have come this January. I am all for assisting lower income families to better THEMSELVES but I cannot support this whole steal from the rich and give to the needy plan.

If low income people are allowed to receive free money from "rich" people (who by the way have worked VERY hard at being wise with their money to become rich) how does that motivate people to get out of the low income class? If I got free money all the time, I would not have much motivation to work my tail off to get to the point that I didn't need free money anymore. Especially knowing that if I made too much money I would then have to give a cut to someone who doesn't make as much as me.

This is CRAZY to me. What happened to the American people that worked hard to make a living and to move up in the pay scale the good old fashioned way?

Seriously!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Not Me! Monday



What a week it has been. Especially for MckMama!!!!! Go see the good news:)

This week's not me's:

I did not check MckMama's blog like a million times awaiting the news of Stellans birth on Wed. Who has time for that silliness? Not Me!

While not doing these many blog checks I did not eat in bed and accidentally leave crumbs on my hubby's side of the bed. And I especially did not later blame my children for the mess when my hubby found the evidence and got upset. I never use my children like that. Not Me!

I also did not plan on sending MckMama and baby S a little treat while they were in the hospital and then back out thinking that would maybe be a little stalker-ish. After all I am NOT a blogging stalker! Nope Not Me!

While at work this weekend I did not show off MckMama's blog(like we were family or something) and her oh so cute pics of her *MSC and her new babe to some of my fellow nurses. I would not do this because that could also fall into the blogging stalker category. Not Me!

*MSC- Many Small Children

I did not tell everyone and their mother about my Eli saying his first word this week. I would never say unsolicited information about my son to perfect strangers at Wal Mart. That is just weird. Not Me!

And last but not least...I did not use profanity towards the computer while at work this weekend after we went "live" with our electronic medical records system. I would never swear at the computer, especially at work. That is just too unprofessional. I ever so gently tapped the computer while thinking to myself "silly little thing" when it was not doing what it was supposed to do.

How about your not me's??????


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Eli Speaks:)

Here is my baby's first official word. "Ball"

You will have to excuse the close ups of the fly:)

I will NEVER understand

While reading the local paper today I came across this story. It brought me to tears and made me SO angry. I will never understand how there can be so much evil in this world. And so close to home. I HATE it, I HATE satan and what he does to people. I hate that we live in such a fallen world that this happens ALL the time and leads to so many other horrible things.

However I do love our God. And I know that this angers and hurts HIM more than anyone on this earth. And I do know that the Lord is with this little boy and with the doctors and nurses caring for him. And I pray that this little boy will survive and will grow to know the Lord as I do and that one day he will be a light in a world of darkness.

HUGE News

He did it. My baby said a word today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Eli just started saying "ball" about 15 minutes ago:)



I will post video of it later.



I am beyond ECSTACTIC.



He keeps running around saying "Bow Bow Bow".



It is ADORABLE:)



God is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pray Pray Pray

Today is the day:) For those of you in the blogging world you may or may not be as nervous, excited, stressed, or happy as I am about MckMama today. Today she will welcome baby Stellan in to the world. The same baby Stellan that doctors told her 13 weeks ago would die and they could do nothing!!

Go check out her blog to read more about it. There is a prayer vigil for her and Stellan ALL day long today.

So Pray Pray Pray with out ceasing for their family.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

One of Those Days

You know it's going to be one of those days when your almost 3 year old SCREAMS the whole way home from grandmas this morning for ALL 15 minutes of the trip including another 5 minute stop at the school to drop off the oldest.

And of course one of those days would happen to fall on a day when I just got off a 12 hour night shift and have no daycare so that I may take a little nap.

Yup, it's One of Those Days

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Not Me Monday!!

Here we go again......join in on the MckMama fun!!
I did not write this on Sunday hoping that I would have it done early and be one of the first links on McMama's Mr. Linky list. Nope, I never want to be first at anything.
I did not start my very strict Dave Ramsey budget this weekend and still find the cash to eat out not once but twice over the weekend. Who waste's their money on eating out? Not me!
I have not been tempted ALL weekend long to just BUY something because being on a budget is slightly painful for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did not eat entirely too many doughnuts for breakfast Sunday morning before going to church where I also had a doughnut hole and a cookie. Yum:)
I did not let my 2 year old run around the house without a diaper MANY days this week and end up having to clean up at least 2 spots of pee from the floor! Who lets boys be naked ALL day? Not me!
I did not pretend to clean the kitchen every time my husband walked up stairs while he and my children cleaned the WHOLE downstairs and the van for 2+ hours on Saturday. I would never be untruthful about cleaning when I was really reading the paper. Who pretends to clean?

Officially OVER!!!

Yes that's right. Family pictures are officially OVER!!! Thanks to our great friends The Tramms we had a successful family picture day. One more thing to check off my TO DO list for the upcoming holidays.
Normally we just have pics of the kids for our Christmas cards, but I realized that my baby is almost 3 and we have not had a single family picture since his arrival!! Mostly because here I am almost 3 years later trying to lose my pregnancy weight and I have avoided the camera at ALL costs. Well, times are changing, and people are just gonna have to get used to the fat Jazz because losing weight is my least favorite thing to do and I am not good at it. So enjoy your fat Christmas pics this year!!!! Or as my hubby would say Phat Jazz (pretty hot and tempting)!! Yes at least I still have 1 fan, and the most important of all:)
I am hoping that photo shop can be my friend before the final portrait is revealed:)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Surfside Seaplane Base



This is my Grandma's brother Bruce. I have pictures of me as a baby at surf side with my aunts playing on the rope swing over the water. It is a fun place:)

31 Things

I found this on BillMissandBrood:)

1. Where is your cell phone? in my purse in the van
2. Where is your significant other? working away in the rain
3. Your hair color? Red with faded blonde high lights
4. Your mother? don't go there
5. Your father? My Hero
6. Your favorite thing? chocolate and time with my hubby (even better if they are together!)
7. Your dream last night? Don't remember
8. Your dream/goal? To be everything God wants me to be to my family
9. The room you're in? Dinning room
10. Your hobby? cleaning???????? j/k lately it's been reading about natural birth
11. Your fear? truthfully I struggle with fear although I know it is NOT from God. My biggest fear is dying before my children are adults.
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Debt free, happy, and content:)
13. Where were you last night? home with my fellas
14. What you’re not? rich!!!!!
15. One of your wish list items? kitchenaide stand up mixer !!!!!!!! -anyone giving one away:)
16. Where you grew up? Forest Lake, MN
17. The last thing you did? Took Jaden to school
18. What are you wearing? Jeans and a tshirt over a long sleeved shirt.
19. Your TV? Being sold or giving it away
20. Your pet? Latte- she is a teacup poodle
21. Your computer? Dell Inspiron 1501
22. Your mood? optimistic about our finances
23. Missing someone? or something? My old house church
24. Your car? Dodge Caravan Sport for now (I think we are selling it and getting something older so we have no car payment!)
25. Something you’re not wearing? a hat
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your summer? too short
28. Love someone? MANY people.
29. Your favorite color? pink, purple, and black
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday at Eli walking around the house ALL day without pants or a diaper. He has a cute butt:)
31. Last time you cried? Monday about how much debt we have:(

Monday, October 20, 2008

Financially FAT!!!!

OK. I have known it for a while but I have a serious problem with financial DENIAL!!! I have started reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey as a suggestion from this really cool person I know, Miss. Anyways, holy debt Batman!!! I am financially fat and the person I am looking at in the mirror is not looking good!

Ken and I are starting Ramsey's total money makeover and the next few years of our lives are gonna be different people!!! We are going to be learning how to live like no one else so that later we CAN live like no one else:) This is going to be a challenge and hard work and eye opening and did I say hard work?

I am hoping to use my blog as a tool for accountability and also sharing our journey through the whole process. Sorry if I bore you all with our getting out of debts plans, but really my life isn't that exciting.

So we are working on making sure we are current with all of our monthly payments for everything like utilities, mortgages, loans, medical bills, etc.. Everything needs to be current before we can move on to the next step. This will be done by the end of this month.

The next baby step is having a $1000 emergency fund. Well God (you know, the Almighty!) has provided that for us in one lump sum!! He is good, really really good. Imagine my surprise (not God's) when I finally picked up my property tax papers from my aunt, our tax lady, thinking we would maybe get back 300 or so. Nope!!! $1087 to be exact. Holy emergency fund Batman:) So by the end of November hopefully we will have baby step 2 completed and on our way to baby step 3.

Now the hardest part. Step 3, the debt snowball. Yuck! I have always know in the back of my head how much debt we have, but seeing it down on paper from smallest to largest, PAINFUL. I have been working on our debt list, minimum payments, total payoff, interest rates, and all that junk. So when we are ready to start tackling that, we have a plan in place.

The funnest part in all of this is seeing already how God has provided for us. I am looking forward to this journey a) to be debt free and b) to have my relationship with the Lord grow even more:)

So as a disclaimer to family and friends:
If it looks like we have money, we don't! We are like the rest of America and just
pretending. If we start selling a bunch of stuff, we are not crazy. We are just trying to wipe
out our debt fast and furious by making money where we can. If our gifts to you are not as
much as it seems like we could spend on you, just wait 10-15 years and the see the gifts we
will be giving away. Short term pain for long term gain! Thanks for understanding.

I will update further in my journey:)

Not Me! Monday



It's that time again. Check out MckMama for the rules of the game:)

This week:

I did not have ANOTHER PJ and no shower day. Seriously 2-3 times in one month, gross. What, do I look lazy? Not Me!

I also did not pretend that I was not home on the said pj day when someone came knocking on my door. I am comfortable enough in my pj's to be seen in front of anyone who may stumble to my door. I would NEVER intentionally ignore someone. How rude!

I did not spend way too much time trying to find the answers to MckMama's contest questions the other day, only to not be even close to over half of them! Who has time for that? Not Me!

I did not eat 3 1/2 pieces of french toast this morning. Nope I have a lot more self control with food than that!

I did not totally forget about Not Me! Monday until I was doing my morning blogging about 10 minutes ago. I also did not have a totally uneventful week and forget to keep track of my not me's!!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Bedtime Story As Told By Jaden

So here is another bedtime story as told by Jaden to his mommy the other night.

*Once upon a time there was a Queen and she was really pretty and she was you mommy. And there was 2 prince's and a princess. Eli was a prince and he was Spider Man and I was a prince and I was Indiana Jones and KyLee was the princess and she was Spider Girl. And mommy you were really strong because you had power and could throw things up in the air. Except us because we had power too because I had my whip and Eli had webs and sissy had girl webs............*


You just know any story that starts like that is going to take a while:) Oh he is funny and sweet!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Fun at The Green Barn

First stop: The Giant Corn Pit









Next stop: The pumkin toss and local jail





Then on to the Hay Maze:


Then Eli's favorite part of the day: They very looonnnnggg hay ride (he sat like this the WHOLE time staring at the tractor)



And last but not least, The Pumkins:



All in a days work:)

Mommy's Little Chef




Yes, he helps me bake bread:) Nobody eats his bread, but he helps!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Not Me! Monday

Tis the season for



Over at MckMama's place!!

This week:

I did not buy a strawberry cheesecake and an apple pie to take to a friends house for dessert the other night. And then I did not strategically FORGET the cheesecake at home and only remember to bring the apple pie with us. It's ironic that we LIKE cheesecake WAY more than apple pie. Silly me, I didn't do that!

I did not let my child eat a piece of the strategically forgotten cheesecake with his breakfast this morning. Nope I NEVER let my children eat dessert at breakfast time. As if!

I did not go to Walmart and pride myself in having the best behaved child there. And then when my child was the one screaming and throwing a fit over some stupid Cars toy, I did not act like he wasn't my child. And I especially didn't give in to the fit and let him take home the silly toy anyway. Nope, I never give in.

I did not go to sleep the other night knowing my husband needed a little something something but I was really tired. And then the next morning when he felt upset I didn't turn it around and blame him for not being persistant enough with me. Who does that? Well, Not me!

I didn't go 40 hours this week without sleep and still manage to drive to the cities with the children in tow. That is really not safe, I would never do that.

Nope, overall I had a really great week of NOT doing things!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Happy Birthday Jack and Eddy

Two years ago today I was driving on my way down to the cities to see my friends in the hospital. Two years ago yesterday their lives were forever changed. Two years ago their precious baby boys were in the arms of their eternal creator. Two years ago they rested on the bosom of their Heavenly Father.

Please be praying for my friends today as their boys are celebrating with Jesus:)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Not Me! Monday

It's Not Me! Monday already:) This week flew bye!

Check out MckMama to see the official rules/directions so you can join in on the fun tooooooooooooo:)



I did not get creative this week and make sweet potato fries to go with our dinner one night. And I most certainly did not lie to my children and tell them they were just regular french fries so they would eat them. Who would be dishonest with their children about food? Not Me!



I did not have to take Eli to the doctor to have a foreign object removed from his right nostril. I did not do this because I would not have left him alone downstairs long enough for him to find a very small foreign object that coincedently happened to fit in his right nostril perfectly. Not Me!



I did not have TWO days this week that were dedicated pajama days in my house. Nope, Not Me!



I did not refuse to clean my house ALL day on one of these not dedicated PJ days and then frantically clean 15 minutes before my wonderful hard working husband came home so he didn't think I was a total bum while he was at work. And he did not praise me for keeping such a clean house for him:)



Not me!!!!!!! You?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

DQ, Doctor, Stuffed Puppy, Green Peg, Laundry & a Movie- Not In That Order!

It all started with a movie and laundry. Go figure.

Eli wanted to watch a movie, no biggy right. So I sit with him for a while to watch the movie with him, then I decided "Laundry is piled all around me, maybe I should do something with it". So I start doing MORE laundry while Eli watches his movie.

Well during the movie watching he got a little curious with his sister Lite Brite (you know the little boxy thing with a light and paper and put the colored pegs through the picture and tada a masterpiece). Upon my return to his area of the house I find him sniffling and whining a little and then I noticed his eyes were running.

I asked him what was the matter. He pointed to his nose and then put his finger up his nose and whined some more. I noticed in his other hand he held a Lite Brite peg. *Light Bulb Moment!!!

Did you put a peg in your nose I asked. He nodded yes. Oh great!!

So I busted out the flash light to take a peek and sure enough. A green peg is WAY up my child's nose. I tried getting him to blow it out, he only sucked it in farther. I tried to make him sneeze it out with no luck. So I grabbed the tweezers and tried to pull it out. He actually laid very still until that tweezers was WAY up there and then he moved and well, we got nothing.

I tried everything I could think of. I knew if I had to take him to the doctor it would get ugly. But I had no choice. So off we went to the clinic.

2 hours, 3 fits, 3 attempts, 4 people, 1 blanket, 1 light, 2 medical instruments, and 1 green peg later we made it. Successful removal in the Doctors eyes, traumatizing removal in Elijah's eyes.

Hopefully he learned that nothing should be going up his nose!!!

The Doctor and Nurse were very nice and told Eli he deserved a stuffed animal instead of just a sticker for making it through that ordeal. So off we went with his new black stuffed puppy. We made a pit stop at DQ because we BOTH deserved it:)

All is well now. He is watching the movie he didn't get to finish.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Not Me! Monday

Here is round two of Not Me! Monday. Go check out Mck Mama who started Not Me! Monday. She is a ton of fun:)


I did not go to a movie called "Orgasmic Birth" and absolutely love it. I did not go because who would watch a movie with that title? Weird, right? Well, Not Me!

I did not take my children to daycare today just so I could take a nap this afternoon before working tonight. Why would I pay for my children to go to daycare if I will be home? Not Me!

I did not let my oldest have 2 peices of gum for breakfast because that is all he wanted. What kind of mom feeds their 5 year old gum for breakfast! Even if it is Orange flavored, that doesn't count....does it???? Well no worries, Not Me!

I did not do a ton of laundry this weekend-clean, dry, fold- and then put in nice piles and in laundry baskets all around the house waiting for the magic laundry fairy to come and put them all away. Nope, Not Me!

I did not feed my family store bought bread the other morning because I forgot to make our weekly bread loaves. Me forget- NO WAY!

I am not sitting on my couch right now looking at all the cleaning that needs to be done and thinking "I may just watch a movie in my Not so quiet house" (becasue the children are not at daycare today). Nope, cleaning ALWAYS comes first in our house!

Not Me! Not Me!.......YOU?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Here Comes Another Birth Activist

Here is the post I promised in regards to the movie I went to see last night.

A neighbor/friend invited me to go with her to this amazing birth film called "Orgasmic Birth" directed by Debra Pascali-Bonaro, downtown at the Riverside Theater as part of a special showing that was put together by different birth activist groups in the MN area. Some of these organizations included ICAN of the Twin Cities, Spinning Babies, Ten Moons Rising, Everyday Miracles, The Childbirth Collective, and DONA International.

To say it bluntly...Orgasmic Birth was UNBELIEVABLE! It was the most amazing movie I have watched in a LONG time. It had me laughing, it had me crying my eyes out, it had me happy, and it had me angry/frustrated. I signed my name up on the list to buy a copy for myself so I can show it to other people.

I know the title freaks most people out. Originally the director wanted to name it Ecstatic Birth but Orgasmic Birth got peoples attention more so that is what they went with.

Before jumping to conclusions about the film or about how you may think I am going crazy, hear me out!

I want to be a doula and eventually a midwife. I want to be able to give women the opportunity to have their babies the way THEY want to have them, not the way our MEDICAL SYSTEM tells them to have them. America is SOOO behind when it comes to supporting laboring moms and trusting them to make their own health care decisions when it comes to the birth of their child. Last time I checked Labor and Birth were NOT an illness, or a disease process, or some crazy medical condition.

GOD himself intended for this to happen from the very begining. He CREATED the whole birth process, from the pleasure of conception to the bliss from holding your babe in your arms. HE knew exactly what HE was doing. Of course after the fall, woman was cursed with laboring pains but she was NOT cursed with a "birth plague"!! She wasn't cursed to have an illness during pregnancy and birth. So why is it often treated that way in Western Medicine?

This film did an amazing job of showing the possibilities of what can happen when a woman is
1) allowed to CHOOSE how and where to have her baby
2) supported by other woman during labor
3) and taught that birth CAN and SHOULD be an enjoyable defining moment of their lives
4) not told horror story after horror story of how aweful labor is
5) and taught to TRUST in her body, because it knows exactly what to do

What if women were taught to ENJOY birth? What if it could be a sensual, pleasureable experience for a husband and wife to experience together. Afterall, the act of making a baby is sensual and pleasurable so why should we be taught that the act of delivering the baby should be strictly painful and an aweful experience? Why can't that be a pleasurable experience?

Well it can be, and the movie is proof!!

I think Westernized Medicine better watch out...here comes another birth activist!!!!!!!!!!

To Be Continued..........................................

and please give me feedback, ask questions, and give your input too. The whole topic of preg and birth is a passion of mine and I would love to talk to others about it.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Better Week......Florecent Pee?

This week has been better than last. I havn't been as emotional about Eli and his speech delay. What a wreck I was last week, you would have thought someone died or something. Thank goodness that wasn't the case. And thank goodness for all my wonderful friends and my fantastic husband for listening to me cry about everything! And thank you to my wonderful friends for remindind me that my child is NOT defective, and that I did NOT make him so I should have NO guilt about his speech delay, and to rest assured in my FAITH and my TRUST in God because HE made Eli to HIS liking:) And HE knows what HE is doing:)

On a lighter note. This week has been fun hanging out with the kids, the neighbors, and Ken. I love fellowship with others and I get so much energy from other people. It has been a very enjoyable week. Other than I am on the verge of getting something because I have a headache daily for almost a week now. I think it's a head cold that hasn't totally landed yet but I am fighting it tooth and nail with lots of Vit. C*, fluids, echinacea, and rest when I can get it.

*By the way, did you know that excess Vit C (you know the stuff your body doesn't need) is excreted in your urine and it turns it FLORECENT YELLOW!! Imagine my surprise after going to bathroom at the end of the day after consuming 2000 mg of Vit C!!!! Yikes!

And tonight I am going out. That's right people I have a social life too!! I am going with my neighbor and her newborn to what will hopefully be an amazing movie downtown. We are going to watch Minnesota Orgasmic Birth. It sounds strange I know, but I will tell you much more about it after I see the whole thing. I am very excited about this opportunity:) Go check out the website and read more about it before allowing yourself to be turned off to the title.

I will let you all know what I think of the film:)

Monday, September 22, 2008

NOT ME! Monday

Here is a MckMama and her Not Me! Monday Carnival. Check it out!




Here goes.......

I most definitely did not cry while unpacking size 3T clothes for Eli that Jaden used to wear. Thinking about how tiny my now kindergartner used to be. Nope. NOT ME!

And I certainly didn't cry even harder when I was packing up size 2T clothes that don't fit either one of them to give away. NOT ME! What am I in denial about my children getting older? NO way, NOT ME!!!

By the way, I didn't sleep ALL afternoon on Saturday and ALL Saturday night and then roll out of bed at 8:30 on Sunday morning and still feel tired. Again, NOT ME!

I absolutely am not writing this post while at work where this is most likely prohibited. You guessed it....NOT ME!

NOT ME, NOT ME, NOT ME!!!!!!

YOU????

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A Mommy to Boys <3

So last night it was just Jaden and I home for the whole night. He decided he wanted to sleep with me since he is my cuddle bug. As we were going to bed he thought it would be a great idea to tell bed time stories.

So he started with this amazing fairytale story about a princess being locked in a castle and this giant dragon who was guarding her. He continued on about hot lava and swords and all sorts of scary things. Then you'll never guess who came to rescue the princess? Yup, Indiana Jones!! Indiana came and slayed the dragon with his sword and his "really cool whip". Then he used the whip to swing over the hot lava and rescue the princess.

It was a very animated story with lots of sound effects and unbelievalbe facial expressions. Then when it was all over the princess was saved and Indiana moved on to rescue another princess.

Then Jaden turned to me and said "You know what mom?"
I said "what?"
he said, "In that story, I was Indiana Jones!! And guess who the princess was"
I said, "I don't know" (thinking probably his sister or the neighbor girl)
he said, "The princess was YOU mom. I rescued you!"

MELT my heart!!!!!! He is so dang adorable!!!!! I just love him to pieces!

I LOVE being a mom to boys. It does things to your heart you never knew were possible<3

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Soak It Up:)

Long time no blog! It has been a crazy month so far. A lot has been going on and keeping us busy, and away from the computer! So I apologize in advance for a potentially LONG post. Grab a cup of coffee and maybe a snack...and soak it up:)

So school has officially started and Jaden is enjoying it. I on the other hand am still a little emotional about the whole thing. On his first day of school he was very happy to go but a little sad by the time I got there to pick him up at the end of the day. Our conversations went something like this...

J- "Mom, I was at school for the WHOLE day!! I didn't know I had to go for the WHOLE day!"

Me- "Well we talked about this before you went to school. That you would be there for the WHOLE day"

J- "Well, I think I want to have school at home so I don't have to be gone for the WHOLE day"

Me- (holding back the tears) " I would love you to have school at home but we talked about this over the summer and we both decided you should try kindergarten first and then if it didn't work out mommy could homeschool you next year."

J- "Ok mom. But next time, I am not going to school for the WHOLE day!"

Me- "We'll see"

By the end of the week he didn't even notice that he was there the WHOLE day. He was very tired though. He was getting at least 11-12 hours a night and he still couldn't get enough. We are almost done with week 2 already and things are going well. I asked him the other day if he was making any friends at school...

his reply- "yeah, (so and so, and so and so) are my new friends"

me- "good, have you made any friends with any of the girls in your class?"

him- "Well, there was this one girl, I don't remember her name, but I played husband and wife with her and we had 1 kid that was a girl...oh, and I was an Indiana Jones husband!

Me- "Oh, sounds.....interesting!" (laughing just thinking about this poor girl trying to play house with my son who is an "Indiana Jones Husband" whatever that entails!!!)

So yes school is great for him, and still hard for me. I am sure it's because he is my oldest. Things will get better:)

In other news.. We are done with ALL of Eli's assessments and meetings. Basically he qualifies for speech/language help. He did great with everything else. So he starts having a lady come out once a week to work with him. This will happen until he is 3 and then he won't qualify for home visits anymore, but he will see someone at the preschool instead. This whole process for me has been very overwhelming and emotionally draining.

I know he has no "disability" he just has delayed speech, which is very fixable. I am glad for that. But they catagorize speech therapy under Special Education. So when the ladies started talking about him in Special Ed and how the other kids won't even know that he is in it, I totally lost it and starting bawling like a baby. I still cry when I think about it. I don't want that to be him! He isn't developmentally delayed, he just doesn't talk like most 2 almost 3 year olds do.

He is so precious and perfect in my eyes and I want everyone to see that about him. I wish I could put into words how feel about this whole thing but I just am unable to at this point. I am so full of all these emotions and fears and just trying so hard to give it to GOD and it is so difficult. I know God is really teaching me a lot through this process but I wish it wasn't so painful and so personal. I can't help but have all these feelings of guilt and responsibility for Eli not talking and I know these are lies from the enemy but they are so easy to believe and that sucks!

Thank goodness Ken is so positive about all this. Not that I have no hope, but I am an emotional wreck and I am thankful that he is there for me and Eli with encouraging and uplifting words. I know God is doing amazing things and will continue to do amazing things. I have faith in that, but it doesn't take away the hurt.

So basically all of that mixed with my oldest going to school has made for a very very emotional September!!!

Ken and I would feel so blessed if you all were praying for Eli and his speech therapy. Just that it goes well and that he makes progress. Thanks a ton:) And maybe pray for a little peace on my end of things!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Crazy Weekend

Well it's gonna be a crazy weekend, only because I work. So I am posting pics of Jaden at school SOON, very soon. I finally transfered them to a disc and off the camara tonight.

I hope everyone has an AWSOME weekend:) I know I will!! I love working, and being home.....I get the best of both worlds....and who says you can't have it ALL. :)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Clarity...please!

UPDATE: The decision has been made...and it was the right one. Thanks God for showing the way.....again:)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ken and I have a few difficult decisions we need to make. We are talking a lot about it together and seeking God for answers. We would also like to ask you wonderful readers to be praying for us. Pray for decernment and clarity, and please pray that we will hear God in this situation and that we will be able to stand firm in his promise for our lives. And also pray that satan has NO ground and/or input in this decision.

Thank you VERY much.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Big Day

Today was the big day. The first day of kindergarten. I cried...a little. My baby is getting so big. He was totally like, see ya later ma!!
I hope I am doing the right thing. I feel uneasy about sending him to public school. Part of me feels like this is what is right for our family at the present time, but there is another part of me feeling like I should be teaching him from the comfort of home.
It is such a hard decission to make. It didn't help that the whole time I was there during the "Parent Orientation", I couldn't have disagreed more with what they were telling me. There is this HUGE push for how important teaching independance is at this age and everything was SO focused on INDEPENDENCE!! He is 5!!! And not to mention that they "Request" that you not eat lunch with your child on a school day until Novemeber because of the "Seperation" issues it can cause! What!!
Oh, and it would be great if you wanted to volunteer, but you can't do it in YOUR childs class. They feel that in Kindergarten it would be detrimental to their "Independence" and learning "Seperation" if their parents were in their class room for anything during the day. STUPID!!!

I guess I need to talk to God about this one. And maybe have a talk with some people from the school about how THEY(The educated professionals) know what is best for my child, and I DON"T(the MOM)!

p.s. I'll post videos or pics of the big day later.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Baking, baking, baking

Today has been full of baking, baking, baking!! Banana bread, zuccini bread, whole wheat bread, black bean soup, pesto, veggie salad, and freezable french toast! I am messy, my kitchen is messy, and our tummys are full. It's been a fun day. I love weekends off:)

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Last Weekend of Summer

Well today is a wonderful day. It started with an early morning trip to the local farmers market for some lovely fresh produce. Followed by 2 trips to the local Co-op for groceries and baking supplies. Now my little one and my big one(the hubby) are napping and the other two are out playing with the neighbor girl, while I sit here on the computer looking up recipes and getting ready to go to the store again for more food for our BBQ with the neighbors tonight. We are going to have a nice relaxing weekend full of food, fun, friends, and family. I love it!! Especially since it is the last weekend of summer vacation!

God always amazes me! He just knew that we needed a weekend like this!

God is good, ALL the time !
ALL the time, God is good:)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Crabby and Fat

I feel like a big fat moo-moo. You know, I lost all my pregnancy weight after Jaden and I still have 15-20 lbs of pregnancy weight from Eli to lose! And he is almost 3. What the heck! I am still young enough that I shouldn't have that much of a problem losing weight, but what gives! I am crabby. Crabby and fat. Yuck!

It's just one of those days! Trying to find something nice to wear to Kens grandmas wake and funeral, and nothing fits like it should. At least for the most part it's all black, which is supposed to help cover the fatness. It doesn't seem to be working much for me though. Whatever!!!

I wish I had a black full length Nun outfit!!!!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cloth Diapers.....At 3?!

So lately I have been obsessed with finding ways to live more "Green" and at the same time save money. Ken and I have talked about doing cloth diapers "if" we ever have another child. It is amazing how much you can save your pocket book and the environment at the same time!
So I decided why wait? Eli is now starting to wear cloth diapers. I know it seems silly since he is almost 3! But this child of mine is no where near wanting to potty train. He has absolutely NO desire to even touch the toilet!! So I have a feeling he is going to be in diapers for a while. He seems to be handling the change well, so far. After talking with my neighbor, who cloth diapers, she brought up a good point too. Cloth diapers usually encourage kids to potty train rather early because they can actually feel when they are wet much more than if they have disposable diapers on. So who knows, maybe he will potty train sooner than I thought.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Keep Us In Your Prayers

Ken's grandma passed away this morning at the hosptial. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as all the arangements are being made this week. Ken's dad seems to be doing OK right now. Marc lost his dad about 2 summers ago and that was pretty hard on the whole family. So please pray for the family.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Out of the mouths of babes.....

As I have Jaden lay on the couch next to me holding an ice pack on his right eye, because his loving brother wacked him with a sword and gave him a nice welt/bruise,
Jaden says to me....

"Mom, I'm glad you're the best nurse ever!"

Oh, SO cute!! I should bring him to work with me so he can tell all my patients that.

I'm glad I have one fan. And a cute one at that!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

3 Years and Counting!

Happy Anniversary baby!! It is hard for me to even explain in words what the last 3 years for me have been like with you. I love you more than ever. I appreciate ALL that you do, have done, and will do in the future. Thank you for your hard work, for your support, for your love, and for your sacrifices. Thank you for our family and what that means to you. I am so excited for what our future holds together.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

HE is the Reason

I look back with amazement that we have made it to this point in our marriage. God has had His hand on us since the very begining and He has never given up on us. 3 short yet long years it's been. And sooo many more to come for us. Ken and I have done so much growing and learning in the past 3 years. Not to mention all the big life events that we have conquered in our short time as a married couple. I sit and think about how trying the first few years of marriage have been and wonder how AMAZING the next lifetime of marriage will be.

3 years ago I was stressed out, making sure all the wedding details were taken care of, getting ready for the rehearsal and dinner, and feeling scared. I never imagined that I would be scared the night before my wedding, but I was. It all happened so fast and I wanted us to be getting married for all the right reasons. Yet there was a part of me that was scared that we were getting married for the wrong reasons.

And here I am. Completely believing that God intended for Ken and I to be One. I love my husband so much more than I had imagined and still I will continue to love hime more and more with each passing day, month, and year we spend together.

Whatever the reason behind walking down the aisle doesn't compare to the Faithfullness of our Lord and His promises to us. He has made this beautiful living marriage so much more than I ever could have dreamed or even prayed for.

HE is the reason Ken and I have committed to eachother, HE is the reason we have endured through the many storms, HE is the reason for the Joy in our lives and our marriage, HE is the reason for our love for one another. Because of our God, we are here, 3 years later, still together. Still enduring, still loving, still learning, still trusting, still hoping for the future, living in the present, and remembering the past.

I love you Ken Carlson.

I love you Lord for giving Ken to me. For trusting me to be his wife, to be his "helper", for creating us for eachother. Thank you.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Baby Fix Follow Up

I got a bit of a baby fix this weekend. It was wonderful! As we were leaving for church on Sunday we got a very unexpected phone call. My sons aunt on his dads side of the family called and was in a pinch for a sitter. She is a Vet and got called in to the clinic for a c-section and her husband needed to leave for work, and she forgot that her parents were not in town that day. So she needed to find a place for her 6 month old little girl to go. So who does she call.....ME! Yay!!!!!

So her husband met us at church and did the drop off. It turned out to be a very smooth transition for her, and I was tickled pink!! My husband kept laughing at me because I was so giddy and completely happy to totting around a little tyke again. People at church were looking like "where did they get that kid?", "She wasn't pregnant, was she?", It was hilarious! So many people asked where she came from.

We didn't get to keep her for very long, as her mom picked her up as soon as she was done. We maybe only had her for an hour or so after church. But it was awsome. The older kids loved having her over, especially Jaden since she is his cousin. He can really make her laugh, and you can just tell he loves her so much. Eli on the other hand wanted nothing to do with her. I guess being the baby of the family, he wasn't too impressed!

I was on cloud 9 while we had her and very sad when she had to leave. So of course I started talking to the hubby about baby number 4????? Normally he gets annoyed when I do this, because he doesn't want more and I do. But anyways, he told me he has slowly been having a change of heart about the whole thing. He hadn't told me up to this point because he didn't want me to get my hopes up. How awsome is that!!!

So we may agree afterall that one more will complete our family. In a few years anyways. He told me if we have another one next year, I can't go back to school next year, I'll have to wait till the babe is older. Or I could go back to school next year and wait until I'm done to have another babe. Duh, I told him school can totally wait!!!

Anyways, we still have lots of talking to do. But I am so happy that we ARE talking about it.

And I am so happy we got to have another little girl in the house for a little while. It was FUN!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

3 Years Ago

I just realized that 3 years ago I was planning a wedding!!!! Time really went fast. I can't even believe that we have been married for almost 3 years. And what a long 3 years they have been. Not necisarily bad but long. We have had a lot of things happen over the last 3 years. Maybe I'll reflect on that in a later post. For now I am just amazed that my anniversary is next week. Crazy! But good. God is good!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Baby Fix

I need a baby fix! All of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I need to hold a baby!!! My baby is 2 1/2 and won't let me hold him like a baby anymore. I saw lots of cute newborns at work the other night and drooled over them, it was torture. I could just sit for hours holding a little tyke. I miss my babies being babies. They are growing up so fast. I would love to have 1 more, but thet may take an act of God to change my husbands mind. So I have formulated a plan.......

I am going to start calling all my friends that have babies 6 months and younger and volunteer to babysit for HOURS. That should give me a fix for a while! And give the moms a break, it's a win-win situation. So do I have any takers???????

Monday, August 11, 2008

Feeling........Blessed

So despite being tired and just getting back from a LONG car ride taking KyLee home, I have this inner joy and peace that just came out of no where. Not that I havn't had joy and peace recently, but all of a sudden the Holy Spirit just filled my soul with this amazing mixture of joy, peace, contentment, and pure bliss. It is amazing. I love this feeling and pray that it doesn't go away. I am so blessed and unfortunately at times it is sooo easy for me to forget that. Thankfully I have a relationship with the most Awsome God who despite my shortcomings and lack of faith at times totally loves me and forgives me everytime I start believing that I am not that blessed. How amazing to be THAT loved!!

God is good. :) Yahooooooooo!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Addicted?

OK I may have an addiction!!? and it's not shopping! Shocking, I know! So most people have addictions like drugs/alcohol, shopping, video games/tv/computer, other people, food, etc....

Well my "maybe" addiction is slightly different. But admitting it is the first step...so here it goes.....

Hi, my name is Jazz and I am a "Home Birth Video" addict.

Yes it is true. I LOVE watching peoples videos of their home births, mostly on YouTube! but you can find them other places too. Most of you may find this to be very very strange, but I AM strange, so there!

Most addicts have an excuse or justification(as I like to call it) for their addiction, I am no different. My justification is this....I am watching them for self educational purposes. Are you laughing?????? I heard someone giggle!!

Anyways, it's no joke. My long term goal in my nursing career is to become a Midwife. So I have started early, by observing these amazing birth stories.

So there it is. My addiction. Although, I do like to think of it as more of a Passion than an Addiction(a little more justification!). Wow, that felt good to get off my chest! I wonder if they have AA for this kind of thing? It might be worth looking in to!!

So, am I totally weird????????

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

A Mothers Faith

I layed next to Eli tonight as he fell asleep. As I was laying there I realized that it had actually been quite some time since I had cuddled with him at bed time b.c. he usually wants daddy to lay down with him. So as I lay there with him snuggling, rubbing his arm, watching him sleep, smelling him, I started to cry. Mainly b.c. I feel so unworthy to be his mommy and completely blessed that God would entrust His child with me on this crazy earth. And then I started crying even more b.c. my heart was just aching for Mck Mama(see the link to the right). I am blessed enough to lay next to my beautiful precious gift from God and there is another mom at the very same moment who is faced with the possibility of not ever knowing what it would be like to snuggle at bedtime with her unborn son, watch him sleep, or to even know what he smells like.
As a mother I am just completely heart broken for her. And yet at the same time, full of hope and faith in The Almighty God and the ability He has to bless this mother with the life of her unborn son.

So tonight I am reminded of how mysterious yet totally amazing and awsome God is. And I ask anyone who reads this to please please pray for Mck Mama and check out her blog and hear her story and see the faith and trust she has in The Lord.

Lets lift this family up to The Lord.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

It was a GOD night

OK this is just a little venting I must do since I have been awake for 24 hours straight, just worked the last 8.5 of those hours, and obviously am tired and will be going to bed when I am done with this.

Why does our society have to be the SUCKIEST thing ever(maybe a slight exageration). Young girls are totally defining their self worth in what their broke, immature, selfish, still living at home, can't hold a job yet alone shower, loser, woman manipulating BOYFRIENDS!!! I am so tired of it. Why is there this whole stinkin generation of girls that think there is something wrong with them the minute one of these lame boys breaks up with them. I want to shake them and say, "it is NOT you, YOU are WAY better off not even knowing that guy, don't you know what you DESERVE, don't you know that there is a GOD out there who is heart broken everytime you think a negative thought about yourself like that, don't you know what HE promises for you, what HE can give you, don't you know that your identity and self worth IS defined by HIM, HE who created you, knit you in your mothers womb, fearfully and WONDERFULLY made YOU in HIS secret place, away from anything that could ever tarnish you, DON'T YOU KNOW THESE THINGS??????????"

And then I catch my breath and realize, of course they don't know these things. These girls have been surounded by people most of their lives that have never once told them a single word of that truth. NOT ONCE! Can you imagine not ONCE being told you were a mighty creation of GOD, a masterpiece set apart from ALL the others!!! That not a SINGLE person on this earth defines who you ARE!!!

Well, I met a girl like this tonight. And I am sooooo sad. And God layed this girl out before me for a reason. And I am figuring out that reason. And I am mad, mad at what The World tells people, mad that people don't hear what God tells people, and mad that Christ Followers like me are NOT(including myself) doing a very good job of making sure that people are hearing what God is trying to tell us. And dang it somethings gotta change.

Some nights I wonder why I was led to Nursing, and nights like last night, I know EXACTLY why HE led me to Nursing.

God is WAY WAY bigger than this world, let's spread HIM around, share HIM with the broken hearted. Share with people how GOD views them, feels about them, and longs for a relationship with them.

Thanks for listening to me vent. It was a LLLOOONNNNGGGG night, but a good night. A GOD night:)

Monday, August 4, 2008

Time for a Face Lift!

I have decided it was time for a face lift. For my blog, not my face, although.......j/k....... of all the things that could be lifted my face is NOT at the top of the list but I won't tell you what is! Anyways my blog felt kind of boring and blah so I found this uber cute pretty in pink template. I feel like it suits me better. I love PINK!!!!

Along with the "look" of blog I think I will be giving my posts a face lift too. I started this blog as a way for family to see a little of what goes on in the Carlson Clan since I have a decent amount of family that we don't see often and so on and so on. Anyways after reading MANY other blogs I have been feeling like I could really use this blog as a journeling opportunity also. It has become so easy to make everything look and sound so happy and perfect ALL the time, when obviously like everyone else it isn't always happy. So from now on I am going to start trying to journal lifes ups AND downs and hope for possitive and negative feedback, and maybe some new friends along the way.

Blessings to EVERYONE!!! <3

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Summer

Where has summer gone? I can't believe that the kids start school in a month! This happens every year, all of a sudden it is August and you look back and start scratching your head. This means we only have a few good weeks of uninterupted family time before it is back to the hustle and bustle. What to do?
Well, lots of park outings, swimming, friend play dates, BBQ's, bike riding, camping......YIKES! I better start planning a few things.

I hope everyone is having as much fun as we are. Just being a family, being together, it's awsome!!

Peace and Love to you all <3

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Eli Update

So far Eli has had a few assessments done to help figure out his delayed speech. He had a Baley assessment within the last week, which assess all developmental areas, becuase he is under 3 the school district requires ALL areas to be assessed. That included cognitive, social, language, and small and large motor. So basically he did FANTASTIC exept for the expressive language part. He scored above average in the receptive language which we all knew, because he understands EVERYTHING you say to him.
Anyways, today the occupational/physical therapist was here to finish up the large and small motor stuff. She told me that he scored very high. She also told me that he is very intelligent but that he doesn't want people to know that. She said they are able to see his intelligence despite his minimal attempts to hide it. So basically my child is a GENIUS!!!! No surprise afterall, I am his mother. j/k

I called Ken and told him what she said. His response was, "Well you know that's my problem too, I am just so smart I don't want anyone to know it!" WHATEVER!

So it feels good knowing he is developing like average or above average in everyhting except speech. He meets with the Speech therapist next friday, so hopefully we will know more then.

Thanks for the continued prayers and support.

God is constantly reminding me to not worry or be anxious, but to TRUST in him completley. He fearfully and wonderfully knit Elijah together in my womb with no mistakes. Elijah is the very child he is supposed to be right here, right now, speech or no speech. Elijah brings our family such great joy, and how much more joy does he bring his Heavely Father. The Lord is pleased with him and loves him more than I as his mother could ever fathom. Ken and I continue to have a child like faith with this whole situation. And we thank God daily for what a blessing Eli is.

Monday, July 21, 2008

We made it back from SONSHINE 2008!

Sorry no posts this last week, we were on a mini adult only vacay!!! Yahooooo. It was awsome. Every year for the past four years or so we have gone to Sonshine in Willmar, MN. It is a Christian outdoor music festival from Wed-Sun. My fav bands are always out there like Newsboys, Skillet, Kutless, Toby Mac, Thousand Foot Krutch, Jeremy Camp, Barlow Girl, etc... It is the best worship and praise of the year for me. There is nothing cooler than being with 20,000 other Christians lifting your hands and honoring the Almighty God!! The Holy Spirit was moving this weekend and it was amazing to be a part of it.

While we were there Ken and I felt led by the Holy Spirit to have our family sponsor a child in a 3rd world country. Through Compassion Intl we are happy to say that we have sponsored two beautiful children, because I couldn't pick just one!. Our family has expanded over night! We have a 4 y/o little girl, Lucy, from Tanzania and a 4 y/o little boy, Geyson, from Hondorous. They are so precious. We pay a very small amount per month for each child to have food, clothing, school supplies, medical care, and The Gospel introduced to them. How awsome is that. The kids don't totally understand yet, but they will. We prayed for Lucy and Geyson last night before bed as a family.
Jaden asked if they are "Real" people. So I explained that they are real people but we only have pictures because they live far, far away, across the oceans in a different country. I also explained to him that these children were now apart of our family, as a new Christian Brother and Sister. He replied, "So they will be with us forever? Cool!" How precious!!! I told him they will forever be in our hearts, as part of our family. I also explained that we will get more pictures of them and they will get pics of us and we will be able to write letters back and forth for many years to get to know them more. And maybe in a few years we will be able to go on a missions trip as a family and meet them in person.

Jaden seemed interested in that, but he is still trying to figure the whole thing out. It will take time, but they will understand and pretty soon they will be able to write their own letters to the sponsored children. Ken and I want so badly for our children to understand the Mission of Jesus Christ and to know that if we can only do one thing towards the mission, it should be LOVING and serving "the least of these people".

Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing our family with these beautiful children, Lucy & Geyson, in addition to our birth children, KyLee Jaden & Elijah. We are so honored to be given the opportunity to serve you in this way. Lord, Ken and I ask that you bless these children with security, comfort, their daily bread, and your Word. Lord we also ask that you bless our children with compassion for others, the ability to reach hurting people, and the strength to not become "of this world" but to be You in the flesh in this world to others. I ask that you give Ken and I the direction to teach these things to our children and the strength to rely on you and have the faith to trust your Will for our lives and theirs. Thank you again Father for yet another opportunity to serve You and be served by YOU!! You are the definition of LOVE, may we help show people that. ~AMEN

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Blessed with T...I...M...E...

So I started my new job this past week. I worked a 40 hour week for the first time in like forever. Man was I tired by Friday night, all I could think about was sleeping! I did have a lot of fun while at work, meeting people, learning policies, working with patients, using some of awsome nursing skills! So far everyone has been really nice and helpful and I think I am going to just love it there! Plus I can't beat the one minute drive!

I am reminded though of how wonderfully blessed I am. I have the opportunity to work in a profession where I can care for people and get paid very well allowing me to only have to work part time so that I have more time at home with family. I did not like having to work every day this week and being away from the kids(it was hard on them too) and I am so thankful that I am in the possition to be able to NOT have to work 5 days a week.

Once I am done with my orentation I will be working 2 days one week and 3 days the next for a total of 5 days every two weeks. How awsome is that! Financially I should work more so that we can focus on paying off some school debt, but that is not our priority right now. My family is the priority and my babies just keep getting bigger and before I know it, they will be all grown up. They are only young once and it is so important for me to be with them as much as possible. Besides I have the rest of my life to work and pay bills, but I only have little kids once!

Thank you GOD that you bless our family with time for each other. What a truely amazing God we serve! Thank you for meeting our daily needs Lord, it is a pleasure to serve you while I am at home and at work.