A Puppy.....

We are getting ready to help transport 12 boxer puppies for MNBR today!! And we decided that we are going to foster one of them too!!! Eli is over the moon about bringing a puppy home!! I hope we don't flunk this foster.......

Bake-a-thon

So this is how I spent my Sunday. A huge bake-a-thon! With my girl Sara. Lots of flour, pb, and chocolate. Oh and a bottle of wine of course!!

Go check out Sara's blog, she did a fantastic job of describing our day!!

Hello?

I hope you are still there. It has been a while. I know. Life gets......busy sometimes. And crazy. But it is good. It has been good. Lots of fun, new, changing things have happened over the summer. Some very easy, some not so easy, but changes are always an adventure.





I miss writing out my thoughts, feelings, and pondering's. I think I need to try again.





So as fall is upon us, so is more change. I love the seasons. They remind me of all the many seasons we go through in life. All the changing and molding that we do as people and families.





One of the changes that our family recently went through was the addition of a pup. A handsome Boxer boy named Kane. He is precious and adored by every person in our home:) We couldn't be more happy with our decision to adopt him!





So for some eye candy.......here he is!!!

Bittersweet

Seven years ago today.....I became a Mommy!! I have forever been changed because of a little 9lb baby boy that came into this world at 5:12 pm on Monday May 19, 2003. And as happy as I am that he is a fine young man, I am equally sad that my little baby boy isn't a baby anymore.

Jaden Paul, I love you more than words could say!! I love your laugh, your sense of humor, your adorable smile, your shaggy hair, your wanting to ALWAYS be right, your negotiating skills, the way you snuggle, the way you hug, how you talk about fishing ALL the time, your big brown eyes, your freckles on your nose, I just love EVERYTHING about you bud!!

And I especially LOVE being your Mommy!!

Planning

I am in the starting phase of planning.....
planning what? you say
Well, a few things really.....
like....a trip to D.C. in October to visit my besty...and...
Jaden starting a new school in AUGUST...and....
maybe school again for me this summer....and....
a few blog posts about some things I have been pondering about marriage and forgiveness...and...
oh yeah, a VOW RENEWAL CEREMONY!!!!

It will be our 5 year wedding anniversary in August, and we will be celebrating with a very small and intimate vow renewal ceremony with our closest friends and family:)

The last year has been crazy and hard at times....but we are BOTH super excited to renew our vows to each other and God:)

Now....off I go....to start making some invitations!!!

Can you say, black, lime green, and fuchsia.......LOVE IT!!!!

A Selfish Rant....

Sometimes I just want to scream at how selfish I am!! I just want so bad to be selfish at times and not selfless. It is such an internal struggle. One that I have dealt with for a very long time, but only recently realized how long it really has been.

It is a painful process; learning how to be selfless. One that involves faith, Gods grace and mercy, and a ton of forgiveness. Forgiveness from God, from my husband, and from myself. It is hard to give up our lives and take up the cross. It is painful to die to ones self. At times I find myself stricken with grief as I struggle through this journey and change of selfish to selfless. I have my two sides battling for this territory in my mind and my heart. My selfish(fleshly) side battling for obvious reasons. My selfless(spiritual) side battling for my essential freedom in Christ. I just want to scream!

Why is it so hard some days? I just want to be more like Jesus. More of Him and less of me. But these days that I struggle so badly with my fleshly desires, I realize how far away from Him I can be.

My Journey With The Great Companion

Where to begin. Perhaps I shall start with a brief summary of how I came to know Christ. Since I feel like my life truly began once I had Him in it.

I was 20 years old. Single. Just had a baby boy who I named Jaden. In Hebrew it means "God has heard", I didn't know this at the time. Anyways. There I was. In pain. A lot of pain. Alone. Responsible for another human life. Young. Hurting. Frustrated. Full of wounds that I didn't even know existed yet. Full of love for this child I had. But also full of hate towards this life of mine and many people in it. Full of regret and full of fear. And did I say alone? Alone! Just me and my baby.

During this time God was seeking me. I believe He was seeking me all along, but I was NOT seeking Him. I had this amazing girl friend who I had met at my previous work place- A TOTAL GOD THING. She was raised in a very good home and was brought up in the church. Well like some children do, she turned away from her parents and from God. She was also a single mom, her daughter was 9 months older than Jaden. Well my friend realized that she needed God back in her life. So she started going back to church and joined a bible study. She felt it on her heart to invite me to this bible study too.

It was kind of weird at the time I couldn't see it then, but now looking back I can. I was at the point of realizing I needed something more than I had in life. I didn't even hesitate when she invited me to bible study! And I was not the kind of girl that "fit in" at bible study! It never even crossed my mind that I might be the odd one out. I told her I was always interested in the bible but didn't really know much about it, and it would maybe be cool to learn something new. Well did I ever learn something new!!

The first 2-3 times I went, I think I cried almost the whole time. I was so broken I couldn't even speak. I just sobbed. And people prayed for me and encouraged me and just supported me. The women in that small group were amazing! My friend also got me in touch with a mentoring program at her church. I started attending church there and started meeting weekly with a women in her 40's who taught me so much about Jesus and His gift to us.

When Jaden was about 3 months old, I went home from one of these mentor meetings and just cried out to the Lord and begged Him to have me. I asked Him to enter my heart and my life because I was tired of being alone. I literally felt an instant inner change. It was AMAZING. I was over come with joy, peace, and companionship. I was alone for so long and just in an instant, I didn't feel alone anymore.

August 30, 2003 was the start of this journey I am on. Not a lonely journey, but a journey with The Great companion. That day I accepted my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to reign in me. He still resides in my inner most self 6 1/2 years later. I have not always let Him be Lord of my life these past 6 years, but He is there. I chose Him and I have been forever marked in Him with a seal.

~And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, Ephesians 1:13

The New Me......

......is trying to be......more like HIM.

So many things have happened over the past many months that I have been away from blogging land. Good things, bad things, sad things, happy things, God things, evil things, painful things, heart things, growing things, dying things. LOTS of THINGS.

Things that I couldn't even begin to blog about right now. But I am hoping to start putting some of these things in writting and share them here soon.

I have decided that it is time to use this blog as I have wanted to use this blog for sometime now. I want to say what my heart and my mind are thinking and feeling without fear of what others may think or say. It is time for me to use this as an outlet or journal or reflection or whatever I see fit to use it as.

I am a new me, partly because of all these things that have happened over the past few months, but mostly because.....of HIM.....and my hearts desire to allow there to be more of HIM and less of me.

And I am ready to start sharing what the journey has looked like up to this point and what the journey will look like from this point on. Good, bad, and ugly. Because this journey includes God and HIS amazing love, grace, mercy, and faithfulness.....and I think THAT is worth sharing with anyone who will listen.

~He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30

Pssst.....you there?????

Anyone???????

I am working on a comeback!!!!!

Stay tuned.........

for the new and improved.......

ME!

God is Faithful...always!

It's been a few busy weeks in this household lately. And I see a few more busy weeks on the horizon. Jaden starts the 1st grade soon!! So we get to head out for a little bit of school shopping today, just me and him, I told him it's a date! I also get to do a little school shopping myself as I start the same day Jaden does!

Ken started this week and is already getting a little fired up about one of his teachers!! But I am excited for him to learn and grow and work toward his dreams of school too!

Yesterday I had my surgery done to remove a pesky kidney stone that would not go away!! It went well and hopefully in a few days I'll be back to normal. I will have a follow up in a few weeks and then we will decide what to do with my other big stones in my kidney that can't pass on their own! Lots of prayer for healing would be great! The less surgery I have to have the better!!!

Eli will be starting side by side preschool this year, and he is VERY excited to go!! I am too! I am praying that even though we will be busy again with everything in life, that we are going to sit back and enjoy the whole process, together as a family, with God leading the way!!

God has been SO faithful to us and I know He will continue to be, if we are seeking Him and His desires for us:)

I hope everyone has a splendoures weekend!

The Last 4 Years....

have been full of fun, excitement, wonder, challenges, changes, prayers, hope, fear, encouragement, work, giving, taking, hopelessness at times, God, blessings, arguments, talking, dreaming, soul searching, loving, wishing, praying, serving, selfishness and selflessness, growing, children rearing, dates, family vacations, celebrations, good, bad, and ugly, beauty, peace, humility, strife, and many many blessings, and much much love.......and most importantly they have been full of.....US!

Happy Anniversary Ken!!!! I am so honored that I have been blessed and chosen to spend these last 4 years with YOU!! The ups the downs and the in betweens!! I love you:)

*this is in fact a few days late. We celebrated our big day on the 20th!! And this past weekend we were able to get out for a nice romantic date down in Minneapolis. A stroll through the big city and a very nice dinner at The Melting Pot. It was PERFECT....

A LONG few weeks!

Well I am in the middle of what will be "a LONG few weeks!". You see my darling hubs is out of town working ALL week long for 3 weeks! YIKES!! He is home for the weekends so we at least get to see him for a few days:) You know that old saying or song!, "You don't know what you got, till it's gone" Man oh man have I been feeling like that! I do know what a great guy he is, but sometimes in the everyday scheme of things, you tend to take people and the things they do for granted. I miss him a ton and the boys miss him a ton!! I am looking forward to these "LONG few weeks!" to be done.

Our anniversary is coming up next week, and since he will be out of town for the BIG day, we are going to try and go out this weekend to.........The Melting Pot!!! YAY!! I am so excited for a little romantic dinner and date with my dearly beloved:) Still working out a few babysitter kinks, so if you feel so inclined.....pray for that for us!:)

I feel like I have SOOO many things to blog about, but I have been awake for WAY more than 24 hours and I am feeling a little sleepy typing this! Well....a LOT sleepy actually! Have an amazing night and wonderfully blessed day!!

Wild Olive Tees

You have to go check out Wild Olive Tees. I have their Unfolding shirt and LOVE it!! They are coming out with a new Wild Olive kids tee line just in time for school. I know for sure I will be getting a CHOSEN shirt for Jaden and Elijah:) They also donate a portion fo the procedes to charity!

So what are you waiting for???? Go check them out already!

Goodbye.....

Today was the day we had to say goodbye to my dear friend Amanda. Doug and Amanda and their daughter Sally are moving to Washington DC for school. Doug is going to law school and Amanda is a nurse and will be working out there while he is in school full time. They are preparing to be missionaries and are hopeful to work for IJM when Doug is done with school.
I am beyond excited for them and this journey the Lord has lead them down. I am however very sad that my best friend will no longer be just a mile down the road. I love her so much and she has been SOOO important to me and my family. My boys absolutely ADORE her!!! She is in fact Jaden's God Mother and has always taken that role very seriously. He told me today that he is gonna really miss her when she is gone.

She stopped over today before they leave town so she could say one last goodbye to the boys. They hugged and kissed and the boys each gave her a letter they made. Through the tears I was able to get a few pics of them.



Oh how I am going to miss her........

Girls Day Out

Today I headed down to the Big City with my friends Sara and Amanda. It was our last ALL girls day out before Amanda moves to D.C. this week:(

So we started out with a mani/pedi to relax us and get us feeling girly. We walked around downtown for a little bit and people watched and checked out the farmers market a bit too. Then we headed over to The Melting Pot for lunch. It was AMAZING!! I loved it!! We ate so much and spent a ton of money. It was SO worth it though.

After eating so much food we decided to walk around town a little more and ended up at the M.A.C counter at Macy's. So while we were there we got our makeup done and bought a little product to help beautify us more:)

Then we headed on home, after getting a little lost trying to find our car!! It was a fun day to just hang out and be with each other. I am gonna miss Amanda a TON!

I have no pics since I forgot my camera but hopefully Sara will put some up from her iphone and then I can link them.

KEEP PRAYING PEOPLE

UPDATED: KEEP THE PRAYERS COMING PEOPLESTELLAN IS NOT DOING WELLCLICK ON THE BUTTON TO BE DIRECTED TO MCKMAMA'S BLOGSO YOU CAN READ THE MOST RECENT UPDATES AND TWITTERSSTORM THE GATES OF HEAVEN WITH YOUR PRAYERS FOR THIS LITTLE GUYHE IS SO SWEET AND PRECIOUSAND HIS MAMA IS TOO PRAY FOR HEALING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



This little guys needs your prayers again. He is headed into the hospital now to try some experimental drug treatments to try to help keep his SVT under control. Here is MckMamas most recent post about the situation. Lots of prayer needed people!!!!!

Isn't He Sweet....

Me: Eli it's time for you to get in the bath.
E: No mommy. I take shower not bath!
Me: OK that's fine, lets get you in the shower then.
E: Mommy....you take a shower too? You take one with me?
Me: No Eli not today. Mommy doesn't need to take a shower right now.
E: Um yeah!! You take shower mommy. YOU STINKY!!!

Nice.

As Good As It Gets...

I was just on the computer checking my email before I have to take Jaden to VBS and what do I hear coming from the living room....?????

My boys sitting on the recliner, NOT fighting, NOT arguing, NOT screaming.....nope non of those.....just READING the BIBLE! <3

Jaden is reading Eli his new Bible he got from VBS yesterday. Now Jaden doesn't really READ, so he was just telling Eli stories from memory and it was the sweetest noise a mommy could hear.....oh melt my heart......

What an awesome way to start my day!!!

*and now just in the time it took me to type this....my boys are shooting each other with their toy guns....go figure! I LOVE boys:)

Yikes!

Boy oh boy do I have a LOT to catch everyone up on. That's what happens when you wait 4+ weeks to write a post!!! Yikes! As usual, summer gets the best of me and I find little time for computer activities as my children are ALWAYS chomping at the bit to get OUTSIDE!



Anyways....the most exciting news I have to share would obviously be the MCK BRUNCH this past Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We had planned on going to the Mck Picnic as well, but we had a family get together come up with my grandparents from out of state, so we were unable to hit the beach with everyone. And at the last minute my friend Sara suggested we find out if by chance there would be 2 available seats open at the brunch. Well wouldn't you know it, there were!!!



And here is one of many Adventures of Domestically Challenged and CarlsonClan......



So we headed down early Sunday morning for what would be an hour and a half trip. Now, if you know my friend Sara, then you KNOW that nothing with her goes as planned! So as we are on 494 her BRAND SPANKIN NEW iphone decides to FREEZE!!!! Seriously!!! What's the big deal you ask????? DIRECTIONS are the big deal! Sara is SO tech savvy that her step by step directions are OBVIOUSLY on her iphone!!! So here we are, country girls driving near the cities, with NO STINKIN CLUE where we are supposed to go! AHHHHHH.



Being a MORE type A than Sara, I had read through the directions at least once if not twice already before we went on our mini road trip. But about the ONLY thing I could remember was something about a CR 30 and a CR 5, like that was going to help us! Sara of course remembered the exact address to our destination, but nothing else......So the two of us were basically a big frickin MESS!!!!



So what do a couple of ladies do in a situation like that??? The smart thing of course....we stopped at a gas station for directions since we had no MEN with us:) So after TWO different gas stations, each with their perks and faults, we FINALLY made it to Waconia....(insert HUGE sigh of relief). Now, mind you, our hour and a half trip quickly turned into a 2 hour voyage:)



Needless to say, we were a bit late, aka Fashionably Late:) Except we weren't that fashionable either, well I guess Sara was sporting some really sweet heels to go along with her silver dollar blisters.... Anyways, as we pull into the parking lot Sara spots something very red and shinny.....(insert 2 silly teenage girl screams). It was Mckmama's truck!!! We have seen pictures before, but never had we seen her vehicle IRL!!!! So we KNEW this was the real deal, MckMama would surely be there.....



About this time we both thought, "What on earth are we doing???? Our husbands think we are NUTS! Are we NUTS???? Or are we just blog stalkers??? Or is it normal to be so nervous to meet someone IRL from the blogging world?? I mean it's not like MckMama is a movie star or something right?....or is she???? Will she even know who we are??" and so on and so on.......



Finally we got up enough nerve to walk into the restaurant. We immediately spotted MckMama (looking dashing in bright purple-she is one of those ladies that can pull off ANY color crayon color), but of course she was busy conversing with SO many women. So we found a few empty seats and settled in. By this time I was very nervous because a) we were late b) I am usually shy at first in big crowds of people and c) turns out we picked the table that had MckMama's Mama and sister!!! Double YIKES!



Thankfully MckMama's Mama and sister didn't bite and were VERY sweet! AND MckMama's Mama was a HOOT!! Man was she funny! Shortly after we made it to our table MckMama came by to meet us! She DID in fact remember me:) Yay!!! It was great to finally meet her!!! I was hoping to see Stellan too, but he was napping at home.



The brunch was GREAT! The people, the FOOD, the fellowship. It was all just a lot of fun. The food was really amazing. They had scones and fruit, bacon, eggs and french toast, a tossed chicken salad, and walleye, asparagus and potatoes. Oh it was just heavenly:) The day turned out to be wonderful:)



We were given cute orange bracelets as party favors from another blogger, and we were given a list of everyone that was there with their emails and blogs so we can keep in touch. We made time for a few group pictures too. The day ended with lots of hugs and thanksgiving for the special day. I would totally do that again! I only wish we were able to join in on the MckCruise fun this winter!!!



So it turns out I don't feel much like a blog stalker anymore:) And now I can say I have seen MckMama IRL!!!! Even though most people that I tell have NO CLUE what I am talking about!



Oh and the real bonus for Sara that day.....MckMama totally fixed her iphone!!!!! I guess that's what friends are for:)



AND we made it home in one piece without getting lost.

God Speaks!

Yes He does!!! We don't always listen...but He always speaks!

I have been spending more time in the Word and He has been using that time to settle my heart and to speak to me about a few things. I just LOVE when He does that:)

The last few days he has been giving me peace with scripture like this:

"Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father is my brother and sister and mother."
~Matthew 12:48-50

Sometimes our worldly families are just plane messed up. But that is because they are human and not of Him, but of the world. Fortunately for some people their worldly families are of Him and so they are also apart of their spiritual family. But for some people, such as myself, that is just not the case.

I have an amazing sense of peace, only from God, about this topic of families. He has shown me time and time again that it is indeed His spiritual family that I belong to because He has adopted me as a believer.

I am so thankful for Him and my brothers and sisters in Christ. They are more amazing than any family a girl like me could even dream of!!